The landslide of an obsession......

Another Monday- first Monday of the girls being in school. I guess somehow we did get through this weekend- but it felt like barely. That snowball from Thursday night, into friday, just progressed and got bigger and bigger. Our only saving grace on Sunday is my husband and oldest go out for a few hours grocery shopping, out to lunch. That's minus 2 people in the house. Then the 2 girls and I went to a cousin's horse show. That meant minus 3 people- leaving just daddy and Ty. He did a lot of sleeping yesterday, I guess the behaviors were exhausting him too. He sleeps to regulate- It was football Sunday- and the niners were on- so he was pretty excited about being able to watch football with Daddy. The only thing is he doesn't exactly sit and watch football. That's kind of hard for him, okay not kinda, it's HARD! So he and Brian play football with a mini soft football, while watching the game. Brian throws the ball to him and he dives and crashes into all the couch cushions. Yes, perfect activity- he has to catch the ball, which takes focus and coordination and then bam... he gets that great crash feeling that he craves so much. Plus the 3 of us were out of the house. So pretty much a perfect scenario for a good day. And after the football game was over- Ty and daddy went swimming in our pool (it's an above ground pool- it's great input for him, swimming, crashing, controlling his breath, it's like a giant weighted blanked enveloping his body- it's fantastic!). So again- recipe for success???? Well, not exactly- it certainly would have been a worse day had we not "done all these things, trying to set him up for success". But it still happened. It was delayed, it was out of the blue to us, but it ultimately happened. So, to set this up a bit- Ty is a kind of kid that input into his brain has to equal input out of his brain. So for example, a TV show that is fast moving, lots of action, lots of noise, lots of powerful inputs to the brain, well it really disrupts him and really causes dysregulation in him. We know this- we've tested it. I know what shows he can watch, which one's he can't and why. We have netflix- for him to sit and watch a show is pretty huge- and can be very regulating to him. But it has to be the right setting, the right show- otherwise- BOOM!! And we have a rule- because again we've tested this- and have noticed the difficulties after watching cartoons after dinner. Cartoons after dinner, of any kind- seem to cause a negative response to him- always resulting in negative behaviors. So again, we just have rules and it's not new, this is how it's been for quite some time. And during the day there are a few shows that are absolute no no's- and he knows that. Power Rangers, Transformers, Xmen... these are shows he likes- but his brain just can't handle the input that they on his brain- too fast, too much action and quick flashes from screen to screen- lights, sounds... it's just simply too much for him to process. And it has always resulted in problem behaviors. Not new- but when he's more dysregulated, like this weekend- for some reason the obsessions kicks in and takes over. His need to watch these "forbidden" shows is greater then anything else that he can control. Resulting in problems. He has had access to netflix- we have parental controls set at Y-7. So there are shows he's allowed to watch that fall into this category. But so do the "inappropriate against the rules shows". Not new- this is how it's been for a long time. But he always used good judgment and knew those shows were off limits. Until his obsession took over this weekend. We've seen the obsessions progress since last week a bit- obsessions with halloween, with buying something. When he wants to "buy something" I know things are heading down the wrong path. This is where he goes when things start to be difficult- it's like an automatic control wheel. He's off- he wants to buy something. But this road is so well traveled that it's not about anything - it's simply an obsession, something that is taking over his brain, and all things start to fall a part. And behaviors occur simply from this obsession. Once this obsession was so out of control- he was angry at me because I wouldn't buy him a mouse. It was literally out of the blue, no one had been discussing mice, or a pet mouse, but nothing was going to stop him until"you buy me a mouse from ACE." huh?? It was so bizarre. And scary- and really the more regulated he is, the less his obsessions take over. And to be honest, I was really surprised at how quickly a new obsession came up out of the blue- I know things were still new, with school routine for the girls, but he just seemed to be handling it so well for the most part. But it progressed like a fast moving snowball, mudslide, and then boom! It hit the wall last night. First it was refusal to go on the potty like he does EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR THE LAST 4 1/2 YEARS! for his irrigation. Then it was him negotiating to watch a show he knows is against our rules, or he won't go on he proclaimed. Well, our deal is if you don't go on the potty- he understands the consequences (getting impacted quicker, resulting in a hospital trip for a clean out sooner), and then if he chooses to not go on, then it's bed time. We can't make him go on the potty- all we really can do it encourage him, remind him why it's so important, and really everyone goes to the bathroom- this is just his time to do it. (He doesn't ever have bowel movements outside of this "potty irrigation time"... this is how his body operates). But this obsession was greater then what he could handle... and his reaction was absolute chaos, hitting, kicking, slapping, hiding, destroying. UGH... so exhausting- it's now 8:30 (way past our normal potty time with him- he's tired and this isn't looking good). It was a circus act, it was emotional, he was out of control, he couldn't control his own body- he was being destructive. When he is like this, our only thing we can do is to help him gain control of his body by having to physically restrain him. Which at age 9 is so much harder. But he easily can hurt someone and has, or he hurts himself. This is our only last resort to keep him and everyone in our family safe- when he's like this. So after about 45 minutes of this he locked himself in his sister's room- and hid under her bed. Okay, this isn't so bad maybe. He's escaping, he's crawling under a bed into a tight, dark place- like a cave. This can be good at this point. I unlock the door, he knows he's deep under her bed hiding- I do find him, and simply walk out of the room. I'm hoping, wishing, praying this is the end of this behavior- he's doing what I always hope- seeking the dark quiet cave space that can help him gain control of his body. And about 15 minutes later, he emerges. He simply say's- I'm ready to go on the potty. It's over. Pheww.. And the obsession was over. And he slept until 7:03am this morning. WOW..... it took everything out of him. And today we start a new day. Wish me luck!