a good week, but then...... ..

What a pretty amazing week we have had. I couldn't be prouder of my little guy. With Labor Day which means a different schedule, and school back up and running for the girls. Ty and I riding bikes to take Sarah to school. Up until Thursday night- pretty amazing. Best days we've had in honestly over a year. He's been calm, he's been kind, he's been helpful, he's been engaging, he's been happy, he's been playful, he's been organized in his head. Truly been an amazing week- But then something happened Thursday night. I have no idea what- these are the mysteries that we are always trying to solve- but it's just what it is. He became more agitated, he became more defiant, he became more aggressive, he became manic, he became well, just way more difficult and behaviors started up. He Was working on something up until 10pm. Of course we didn't want him doing what he was doing (making an automatic dog feeder). He became obsessed with the idea- and nothing was going to stop him. He was very dysregulated, very aggressive if we approached him. These are the big parenting decisions we have to make. And boy do we hate having to make them when we are tired and it's bedtime- ugh! But sometimes we know we just have to ride it out. Pick our battles, it's not the one worth completely struggling over. We were upset and frustrated- of course. This was a moment that we had no control over him. He had no control over himself. This is why it can be scary- no idea what's running this game- obsessions, mania, no idea. But he's out of control and as parents, we pretty much can't do a damn thing about it. But like I said, he wasn't destroying property, he wasn't hurting anyone, he wasn't hurting himself. Pick our battles- just our battles are constant. So this was one we just had to let it ride itself out. And it ultimately did- after a giant mess of dog food everywhere in the garage, messes everywhere, (btw cleaning up is one of our goals because he doesn't do it.)It's late, I'm tired, Brian's tired, he's running around like a chicken with his head cut off- having so many ideas, trying to put those ideas into something- and just being very manic over the entire situation. He was even saying "I know I know, but I have to do this...". And in my heart, as his mom, I know he does- it's something inside him that he has no control over, and it overtakes him. He gets this way over different things. Sometimes the best intentions for a reward system that sound like a great idea, but then in his reality, the obsession takes over and what was supposed to be a reward system for good behavior, incentives, becomes so difficult, his obsession takes over and now behaviors are occurring because of his obsession for the reward. It's such a double edge sword many times. But we know that about him, so we tread water very lightly and if obsession signs begin- it's like a scout ant......yelling retreat retreat- turn back..... :) So, finally Ty is satisfied with this project automatic dog feeder he was trying to make. It was bedtime, well actually well past bedtime, but that's how things are with him. So everyone in the house, fast asleep- it's dark, it's quiet, it's peaceful. And then at 2:30am, my door opens and there's Ty with another one of his obsessions right now "do I have to get my button changed tomorrow?"..... he has asked us this question everyday multiple times a day now for the past 45 days. And it's usually at all hours of the night. So once again, at 2:30 am- he asks me again. Despite our new bedtime talk- which is I give him the information about what we will be doing the next day. I say, "Ty, you are not having your button changed tomorrow. We will be riding bikes, to take Sarah to school. Oliver will be in the basket on your bike. We leave at 8:15am. Then we ride our bikes home and then at 10:00 A.(our behaviorist) will be coming." He'll usually ask one more time for confirmation- I tell him once again, no your not having your button changed tomorrow. Then he's satisfied- until the next time the thought pops into his little head, and he can't make sense of what we have told him repeatedly. So at 2:30, I again tell him no he's not. He tells me he's been up since 1:30am watching a show. UGH... and this is where I need to be careful. How OFF is he, can I just tell him to go back to bed, will this cause him to flip out on me at 2:30am? What information does he need right now that will help him to want to go back to bed? I can see he's still a little groggy and tired, so I simply tell him calmly to go back into bed. And I wait...... what's going to happen next? And he did. Alright! Success..... and he left all the lights on in the house- great so now I have to get up out of bed to turn everything off. But at least he went to bed. He slept until 7:00am. Not bad in our book. But I now wonder what will this day bring? We started off so well this week, things were going so good on so many levels - and then something switched in him? Why? So what will today bring? He's asleep right now- he always takes a morning nap- always- which for me is nice- it's my respite time. I make my coffee, and read the online newspaper, check email, and stay as quiet as possible because I do not want anything waking him up :) So, we'll see what the rest of the day brings my way! But I really hope obsessions are not it today- of any kind- they exhaust me.