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My Paradise in a Bubble: Today- ......... I will just breathe at this moment!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Today- ......... I will just breathe at this moment!

today- in one word

sucks!

It's been high

and it's been low

and then it's been lower!

The minute things seemed to have been turned around

boom

he's exploding again

his mood is all over the place

he has no idea what he wants,/p>

but is angry we don't know what he wants

so today- just sucks!

Quite honestly, I'm so tired of the explosions- I"m on the receiving end and he has no idea his own strength

I do, it HURTS!

So, feeling sad- feeling frustrated, feeling confused, feeling a lot of feelings!

ahhh I need a new day, a new sunrise, a new 24 hour period to get myself in check so that I can then better help him get in check

this is the vicious cycle of Autism meltdowns- Mood disorder, ADHD, PTSD

whatever the cause

the vicious cycle of uncontrollable behavior, uncontrollable emotions, uncontrollable everything

and as the parent- trying- desperately trying our damnedest to get a grip, get control, help everyone lost in the cycle to reach solid ground once again!

But it is really hard sometimes!

Just really hard..... and this cycle, happening these past few days, going on right now

is hard to get a grip on

and is taking hold of me!

Breathe- deep breathes,

I will just breathe at this moment! I will breathe

I will feel the depths of my soul touch solid ground

and then reach in and stop this cycle

This cycle is just a cycle

It will end

It will move on!

It will be forgotten.

Just breathe!

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