which I don't mind when he is calm, respectful of the others in the house sleeping,
he "quietly" not really, but trying to be quiet- playing xbox NBA basketball
which is now housed in my room, but he doesn't like to be alone, so I'm okay with it,
as long as he's quiet and not causing problems.
He had Gretchen by his side and he even took her out to go potty!
So I don't mind the early wake up call
but what I do mind is the nuttiness behavior that out of no where takes over his body and throws him into the trenches of a manic episode
where he's hyper, literally bouncing off the walls, being loud, kicking people for no reason
demanding, cruel, and plain out of his mind
WHAT DID I MISS!!!
What just happened, what did I miss, why the complete turn in state of mind!
ugh.. Mind you now it's only 7:something in the morning
everyone is now up and trying to get ready for the day
and I"m dealing with "behaviors" ....
He's being demanding, rude, aggressive and I know it's not escalating much more (as it used to) because I have Gretchen on the job!
She's trying to work her magic-
I'm helping her by holding him a bit so she'll lick him and tickle him to break this cycle!
But as a parent, as the mom trying to get the girls off to school,
just waking up (well not really since I was woken up at 6:15am), but tired, haven't yet had my coffee, and
darn it just want a peaceful morning, and I"m getting very frustrated!
and my frustration only fuels his what ever is happening inside his brain crazy thoughts
These are the mornings that I dread, that I feel it's never going to be different, it's always going to be hard!
We have moments of fun, moments of laughter, moments of calm, moments of silliness, moments of snuggles, moments of peace
I just want these moments to be far more a part of our daily life, and the behaviors, anger, aggression, frustration, unkind words, threats, opposition, hyperness, to be only moments and not the "norm"!
It's not easy waking up to "having to be on guard and on alert" and trying to tame behaviors
He's asleep (as he does when everyone finally leaves the house to go to school and work)
It is quiet, it's nice, I'm drinking my coffee, the dogs are all asleep (Gretchen laying with Ty on her dog bed)
and me wondering how the rest of this day will go?
When he wakes up, will his mood be turned around? Will he want to participate in fun things with me? Will he be obsessed over one thing? Will that cause behaviors?
The anxiety of always needing to be "on guard" because you never know how he'll respond to something and I have to be prepared (because when I"m not and I"m caught off guard, well it's really not good- and usually makes the situation worse!)
But it is tiring!
So, cheers holding my 20oz cup of home made peppermint mocha with almond milk- to a better rest of the day!
love photos like this, because he's so sweet when he's snuggling a dog sleeping peacefully- and well look at him...
this picture isn't from today, but I just needed another reminder that today can get better, and if not, I just have to work extra hard at helping him stay calmer, be calmer, be present and realize it's a day he is struggling! So here is another great photo that reminds me of him all the time! And is perfect for a day like today
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