I have a new project!

While they got to play...... I got to build!!!

A new stair platform for the pool.......

A moment when everyone is happy.... even Gretchy! <3

It had been awhile since I had time to build anything..... but outdoor projects that can be done poolside- that helps so Ty can swim and play and I"m there paying attention to him, but I am building. Not just sitting!

Plus with this new above ground pool we have... I call it our poor man's pool.........just because that's funny- I have been wanting to make more than one point of entry. Plus the new steps we got that will arrive any day now are steps into the pool, rather than a ladder and that will be good for the dogs.

Because let's face it, the dogs create a mess in the pool with all the dog hair... but having them in the pool with Ty makes him so happy and helps keep him focused. Besides, who doesn't love seeing a dog swim. It's adorable.

Oliver, the little white dog loves to actually lounge in the raft we have- Ty say's it's his royal yacht!

So steps built, I have a few more "deck like" projects that I will add on - kind of like a modular deck system... not one project too big at any one time.

This step platform I built cost me $30.00 for some of the wood (we had most of the wood from reusing pieces from dismantled projects like our garden arbor)

That's it.... not bad! And it took me a day and a half- but working only during pool play time- so probably a total of 5 hours... again- not a huge project, but it was good for me to get building again. It definitely makes me happy!


Just will need to stain the steps... and project complete.... I love working with my tools! ♥♥

Moments remind me of a song by Paul Simon

Ty and little one shared a nice moment yesterday.

It can be so hard somedays, especially for her. I could tell he desperately wanted to engage and play with her.

But he often goes about it the wrong way.

She was simply swinging- letting her mind float with her. And he comes like a hurricane purposely walking in her swinging path (which isn't much- so yeah, a bit intentional on his part).

And then it was him expressing and complaining that SHE is in his way.

This sort of song and dance went on for a bit... I intervened gently reminding him about playing elsewhere while she is swinging.

I knew in my mind he just wanted to play with her. But this is how it frequently goes. I would put the words out there asking him if he "wants to play with Sarah?"

But at this point- Sarah was quick to say she doesn't want to play- after all he is bothering her, not letting her swing, and purposely bugging her- why would she want to play with him?

I'm proud of her for learning how to stick up for herself. This has been a long road. She is so loving and wants to help him ALL THE TIME- but it's important for her to stand her ground so he realizes his behavior has consequences (natural child's play, you are not nice, I don't want to play with you)

Anyway- After about 15 minutes or so, Sarah decided to use her chalk to make a hop scotch game. So simple and so fun.

She is enjoying playing hop scotch all by herself. And in the corner of my eye, I notice something.

Ty drawing his own hop scotch game. And in time, they switch to use the others game, and simply engage in a happy gentle fun way.

So, that was nice.

These types of moments remind me of a song- one of my favorites by Paul Simon

"The Boy in the Bubble"-

........These are the days of miracle and wonder

As I just looked up the name of the song, because I knew the lyrics but not the name of the song- wow- another moment.

The name of the song is "The Boy in the Bubble?"...... wow- this describes my boy. The name of my blog is My Paradise in a Bubble.

The bubble is the gentle environment he so needs to exist- and everything outside of it causes chaos and overwhelms his existence. His security and happiness is only found within this bubble world. I have always described it as him being allergic to the "outside world".... it truly makes him sick

Okay- totally didn't see that one coming. Wow!!! The song I've been singing in my head repeatedly- thinking of just enjoying the days, even the hard one's and finding the happy moment within that day....
The miracles and wonder..... because they do exist- even for my boy who is like "The Boy in the Bubble"

The moment yesterday- Sarah and Ty playing hop scotch! That's a miracle and wonder---------------

I want to go the beach!

Well yesterday's "witching hour" was not as bad thankfully! I gave him a tiny dose of med prior to this time of day ( that for a week now has been nothing less than difficult and destructive)

It seemed to help him..... because even when he got upset, it didn't escalate and he calmed down fairly quickly (without destruction- only threats)..... that's a good thing in our world.

These routine changes to summer mode just suck sometimes.

Oh, and my little man has a birthday tomorrow- to add to all the excitement! (Excitement for him = overwhelmed systems that trigger behaviors) I want to go to the beach!

The "Witching Hour".....

Remember when kids were little.... and for some reason around the same time each day the world would collapse around them?

I called it the "witching hour"... and it didn't matter what the day was like earlier

but around the same time all hell would break loose!

I remember it clearly as they were infants and toddlers..... well we seem to be having a "witching hour" with my almost 12 year old!

UGH.......... Something comes over him and he starts acting up, getting angry, having negative thoughts, OCD thoughts, all things that have bothered him in the last 12 months (no joke) come out with force and frustration

and yes this all fuels behavior- sticks being thrown, rocks being thrown, threats, his escaping to the backyard corner.

I have to come up with a new strategy for this time of day.

Not sure what yet. But some how I have to keep him engaged in something to keep his mind from running away and going down the path of negative thoughts.

Oh and I think it may also be necessary to dose some med ..... something to help him be calm and stay in control of his own mind and body.

So, this is the 4th day of summer vacation. His birthday is in 2 days.

Yeah, it's a tough transition for sure. I"m ready for things to "smooth" out a bit!

Once upon a time, summer was my favorite time of year with the kids. Not having to be somewhere, being able to just exist in our home, doing fun activities like arts and crafts, fort building, baking treats, swimming, literally the simple pleasures of childhood.

This is why my blog is named "My Paradise in a Bubble".

Because when we were home, not having to be places, keeping a routine very simple, not having outside environmental sensory experiences that overwhelm him...... I would say when we don't have to be anywhere, don't see anyone, he is pretty calm and happy! My Paradise in a Bubble.

Once we open the door to the outside world........ distractions of everyday life, routine disruptions, unexpected anything-
he struggles much more! It's how it always has been.

But we had some good times in the summer. It wasn't always so difficult. Even if we couldn't go anywhere..... we made it fun here!

It's a lot harder to do now that they are older. And he struggles just to have people in the same room as him (esp sisters). So I have to "divide" my time, trying to do what I need to do around the house, make lunches, assist who needs assisting, care for dogs..... and keep peace! And maybe, just maybe I can try to do a fun activity (usually art) with whomever wants to participate. It's usually the 2 girls. But sometimes, I can get Ty to participate, even if it's for a moment. I'll take that moment and consider it a successful moment!

So here's to my efforts to trying to have a successful moment today! And keep the "witching hour" calm!

The spark of the inferno.......

I just think the transition to summer is going to be harder than I want it to be!

As if I have any sort of control AT ALL.... which of course I don't!

But the day was going well. He was so chatty. (even in a good mood, it's quiet fatiguing because he is so chatty non stop!!!!)

But he was really coming up with creative ideas for dinner. Creative combinations of flavors. Creative meals that were just seeming to come out of thin air!

It was fine- I don't mind it so much when he's in a good mood. Being creative!

He made a giant mess in the kitchen- because of course he needs to actually create the things he is thinking about!

Strawberries, watermelon, onions, garlic, so much happening in the kitchen. The blender mixing!

And then he comes outside with a bowl of this "creation" and chips... he made a salsa!

Which I am so happy he is, well- happy!

Problem then was his switch got flipped! Don't know where along this process it got flipped. We were simply talking about the flavors- and other creative combinations.... and then BOOM!!!!!

Just like that. Just like how things "were once a long time ago"..... out of thin air once again- he starts talking about money, and buying, and birthday..... and all these compulsive thoughts that for so many years drove negative behaviors in him. But since Cannabis- OCD has been very calm and tamed.

WHAT THE HELL!!!

Let's put those negative thoughts right back into the bubble they seemed to float here on and get them away ASAP!!

And yep... just like that a flip switched- he was angry, he was negative, he was throwing... and nothing I said or did made a damn bit of difference.

It never does!

I know his birthday is coming up. I know it's on his mind all the time. I know school is out and routines are changing. I know all this.

And there is nothing I can do when his OCD thoughts start invading his brain. Go read old posts from a year ago- 2 years ago..... so many posts about the OCD behaviors he experiences- and what it does to him (and us!).

Re grouping my thoughts. What do I need to do differently to help him. Is it changing up my dosing? probably... and this is always tricky- when my only indicator is behavior. It can work, or it can backfire! Luckily I can play with it- and there really is not "horrible" side effect- except increase in behavior or agitation. Which then indicates- backing off! It's tricky with him.....

He's calm now- I have a dose ready to go- but for now- I wait!

I wait to see what happens in the next hour- with transition of dad coming home. Will it agitate him? Will he again revert back to OCD thoughts that drive his negative thoughts?

But it's a reminder that regardless of what we do- these changes are big. They effect him so much. And they can add so much fuel to his fire. The fire that is always ready to rage like an inferno..... from out of no where! We never usually see the spark. But there is one. And for now- end of school, upcoming birthday, these are big torches. And we really haven't had a big disruption in routine, as summer break and bday festivities are; well since last summer.

We all know how that went! But I do have my bets on Cannabis helping! But it's still a lot of trial and error with my kid.

Summer break????? not exactly Autism friendly

Last day of school!

I am always a bit uneasy with the last day of school!

So many unknowns of what will come our way this summer. When most are off enjoying the freedom, vacations, leisure time; it's just not like that here.

Our typical summer takes quite a while to "get into summer mode". Usually by August we start to feel a bit more relaxed. More of a groove compared to the weeks post school getting out. And then just when things are more calm and routine........ we hit another routine change with school starting back up again.

This is how it is for our summers. It's not really an Autism Friendly break. No break really is.

But as always- I will be optimistic. I will create opportunities for my kids to have fun with. Oldest is busy volunteering about half of the summer, a week at a time. That keeps her busy (which is good). And the rest of us will chill at home (because again reality is we can't leave our home) We will have our occasional "drive thru "trip for rewarded french fries.. that will get us out of the house. Not all 3 kids- that doesn't ever end well. But little one and my boy and I can from time to time venture out to a drive thru to reward Ty with his motivating french fries.

I have one hope of going to the local u-pick farm. This can be a really nice outing. However it can also totally back fire and become a nightmare.

It's any one's guess as to how it will go!

But for now, today is the last day of school. We are already starting off on shaky ground since dad has a late meeting tonight.

Then next week I will have a birthday boy. Again, another curve ball thrown his way.

And just starting to figure out a routine, how we are all going to manage and set our "ground rules" for co existing in the house together- it's 4th of July.

That's always a doozey!

My reality is one where I just won't allow myself to "think" that far ahead. It's impossible.

I will take today- enjoy the moments knowing my 9th grader will be headed off to High School next year. Celebrate all her accomplishments as best that I can. Give little one the support she needs moving from a 3rd grader to a 4th grader.... big changes lie ahead for her (she calls it nervousited) (nervous and excited all melted together)

And I will of course do my best to engage Ty during all these new changes that historically overwhelm his system to the point of not coping with the littlest of "things"...... but I'm optimistic this summer. He is on cannabis. It's helped him in so many ways. It's a new beginning to what can "be" this summer for our family. It just is. And I will continue to enjoy "my moments"..... and hope this summer brings some pretty fantastic one's for our family.

I think we deserve it! My kids deserve it! (not that that means anything........ but I will do what I can to inspire some happy and memorable moments for them......

First order of business....... breathe!

Cannabis and Minors......

I get asked a lot of questions regarding Medical Cannabis and use in minors. A lot of people don't think the laws extend to minors. So I thought I would post the law and some resources. It is important to educate yourself.

But since it is the ONLY thing that has actually helped our son, I am happy to share the information and our story. We were out of options, and to see our son smile and laugh again is precious. We tried traditional pharma and therapies- you name it, we did it. But the meds prescribed really only made things worse for him, unlike Cannabis. We are lucky we live where we do. Not everyone has access to MMJ. One should not need luck to have access to a beneficial medication to help their child.

- "To help clarify for physicians who recommend medical marijuana as a treatment option for minors, the California Medical Association published in 2001 (and updated in 2009) the following guidelines:

“The CUA (Compassionate Use Act of 1996) does not exclude minors. Moreover, the MMP (Medical Marijuana Program) clarifies that minors are covered by the CUA and can obtain identity cards with the consent of their parents or guardians. (Health & Safety Code 11362.715) However, a physician should proceed cautiously. The physician should ensure that:

1.) the parents or guardians are fully informed about the risks and benefits of medical cannabis and give their consent to such treatment;

2.) the minor has a serious medical condition; and

3.) all conventional treatments have been tried unsuccessfully, or considered and rejected (e.g. because of probable unacceptable side effects), before recommending the use of medicinal cannabis.



http://www.safeaccessnow.org/