Better than we started

I want to be his champion!

I don't ever want to give up on him

But this week- O M G

and as I blame his behavior (how bad is that, blame )

geez what is my responsibility in all of this

It's been a crazy week, definitely out of "routine" starting with my friend watching him on Tuesday afternoon so we could take Sarah to the doctor

All week oldest has had 4-8pm rehearsals since the show is opening this weekend- so having to get her home late,

I had to work a rehearsal from 4-8 last night- which was fun, and so neat to see behind the scenes

but the day leading up to my leaving absolutely sucked!

He simply took a nap in the morning, and then it all went down hill from there!

His obsessive issues and thoughts took over his brain and his body, and lead him down a very dark tunnel- so much that I ended up staying out of the house, simply pacing the neighborhood for 4 hours yesterday

Was unable to pick up littlest, had to call on my dearest friend

who also so graciously brought myself and oldest dinner to bring to theater for our dinner break!

Not being in the house for four hours, well, not only did NOTHING get done

I couldn't even plan or make something to bring

So I just took a huge long break from writing this blog

My boy asked for my attention, and school got out, girls were home, blah blah blah

Anyway- amazing what happens with so much time passing in the same day

I was in the middle of telling you about my yesterday day which was oh so difficult

very very difficult

I could not break him of his "obsessive thoughts"

and it's just how it was

So as I paced up and down the neighborhood, I was talking to Brian on the cell, explaining my "situation" with little dude

I wasn't locked out, there was just no way in hell I was going back to the house, because everytime I did

it would start all over again!

But you see in my world, as much as that sucked, as much as I hated the day, the moment he would again throw out the words about buying legos'...

and threaten me which was my cue to turn right back around and walk away

he didn't aggress further

It might have taken 4 hours, but ultimately

in the end, it didn't go passed that point

Had I approached him, had I acknowledged with words or gesture, had I gotten in "range"

he would have been aggressive

but it was a situation where I could wait him out, stay away, listen to his behavior as he is out of control, he knows it, and the fact that he didn't go further

well, victory, progress, just the way it was, not sure really what to call it

but it definitely could have been worse, has been worse, and glad the day ended

Oh and while walking around the neighborhood to top off my already "shi***" day

a bird crapped on my shoulder

yeah, that sucked

I would definitely say that is the story of my life!

Well, at least for yesterday

Because as Friday has come and almost is gone

it was all new once again-

I'm not really sure what today was like, it definitely felt weird,

I don't know, it was just a different kind of day with him,

he was happy for the most part, using his words well for the most part

showed some flexibility for the most part

I was even able to pick up littlest from school

I think I was just waiting most of the day for the "other shoe to drop"

just because this week overall had been so challenging

but as it's almost bedtime, the other shoe hasn't dropped

In fact, we sat around our dinner table for quite some time after eating, talking, laughing, just silly stuff

(yes of course the dogs were involved)

so who knows what will happen between now and bedtime (it's amazing of what can happen in the matter of 15 minutes, let alone 30-45minutes)

but luckily we are heading into a weekend on a much better note than we started!