Little one is freaked out by all things and is glued to my side right now!
Literally
Big brother and big sister do not help in anyway by "talking more about it" and saying "there's no monsters"... if she believes there are monsters, then she believes there are monsters...
Just like they did when they were younger. and it just tells me how "stressful" starting a new grade, a new classroom, a new teacher and only a a few friends in this new class
and her tummy troubles definitely do not help!
I know she is struggling because she is never like this-
and although she has her own sensory issues and tics
everything is bothering her sensory wise, every tag has been needing to be cut out of her clothes, even though they are not new
nothing feels right, she tells me 100 x a day "she's emotional" and wants to cry
my poor baby- these are the times I realize she has her own "issues" and usually handles them so well- when she can!
She is my independent one, my one who may have fears, but simply goes the other way
usually her room, boy she loves loves her room- to just play hours at a time in
The last 4 days she won't even go in without me
She'll get through it, but these are the moments that when you have a child like Ty,
who takes so much of your energy, your time, your everything
I feel I have so much less to give to my other kids who "at times need me a lot!"
This is the hard part of being a special needs mom, that I wish I had more energy to give to Sarah and patience.
I'm doing my best, I'm really really trying- we made "monster spray" to spray around the house
that always worked for Ty and Megan to keep monsters away
but she confides she's afraid aliens are going to come through our walls, she's afraid of ET- yes the E. T. the movie we watched like 2 years ago and at that time the kids thought he was so cute
and as most parents know, I can rationalize with her till the cows come home, my words of telling her it's not real just do not have an impact
so for the time being, I do not mind her being glued to me, I don't mind her needing me every time I turn around, needing me to come to the other room so she can tell me her secrets
which are she's afraid aliens are real and going to jump out at her, and monsters are real, and probably a whole bunch of other crazy things that she wants so desperately to stop invading her head
you know, all those negative thoughts that even as adults sometimes in moments of stress, and more difficult times take over -
the negative things that deep down bother us, scare us, worry us that during tough times, know when we are feeling weak and invade like parasites
controlling our minds and taking over our abilities to make sense of things
I know, it happens to me, and always has!
My poor girl wants to know how to "stop thinking" like that, to stop "thinking about the bad things" to stop it all!
This is how I know it's been a tough week for her... :(
And really the only thing I can do is listen, hug her and tell her I"m always here for her no matter what!
and I hope that's enough to make her feel safe!
But boy am I tired!
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