Behaviors are a signal...but ABA is outdated

Response to a post by Dr. Delahooke

“A human's behaviors are a SIGNAL of what's going on under the tip of the iceberg. One important signal is of the state of our nervous system, our physiology, driving the behaviors. That makes them ADAPTIVE to the child's experience. BF Skinner, who developed behavior theory didn't know this. We do now. We can do better and move away from manipulating children's behaviors (signals) to learning just what those signals mean for each child, and then compassionately addressing the causes and triggers. That's the new paradigm in understanding what drives our little (and big) humans”. #Beyondbehaviors #education #positiveparenting #specialeducation

 

My reply

Thank you.  Too many still believe the Skinner model of behaviorism and are this is what is used throughout our schools , and when it isnt effective because what lies beneath the childs observable behaviors are never understood or supported. Also, as soon as a parent is told their child has autism,  next step, ABA.  

The shift away from Skinner and behaviorism needs to happen and fast.  Our kids need us to understand them.  It is truly life altering for the child when a parent understands how to support them and understands the behaviors are just the signal....your book needs to be on everyone's bookshelf. It needs to be taught to therapists, educators,  and pediatricians, etc

 right.  If behaviors are “the issue”... they try to fix the behavior, instead of doing the hard detective work and finding out everything that lies beneath the “surface behavior “ we see.   Both outward visible signals and the not so obvious signals.  Different kids communicate in different ways....behaviors are always communication.....it is up to the adults to figure out the “why and the why now” (Dr. Stuart Shanker).

And using ABA for trauma is only compounding the child’s trauma.  This was my son.  He has multiple dx and co morbidities including trauma.  We are still repairing the huge fractures in his trust for anyone...ABA created bigger fractures in our relationship, esp since they used restraint and seclusion and “trained “ us to use.  It breaks my heart and soul everyday thinking about what we put him through.  We trusted the professionals.  Interestingly, when we questioned and wanted to understand the why behind the behaviors, no one ever had answers.  That is not what they do.  So manipulating kids to do what we want, in the name of therapy is harmful, traumatizing and needs to end.  It is still considered the gold standard.  Parents need to speak up, and say no to this.  We must listen to our kids( verbal or non verbal), and the adult autistics who talk about the horrible experiences of ABA.  I understand the desperation parents feel when they have a child who struggles with behaviors.  It is so hard and exhausting.  But so often, the compliance and control we seek (because this is “parenting” is what often  triggers our kids, because if they could comply with a demand, they would.  But if they lack a skill, especially if one of the skills is inability to communicate in an effective manor that conveys a meaningful message to another person, then they have multiple skills lacking and no way to communicate it more appropriately.  Because if they could, they would.  I 100% believe this.  Many of our kids struggle to just stay regulated, which is why o5 seems many struggle with EVERYTHING!!!  The overwhelmed nervous system and how it takes over the body is real and until we understand how to support our kids through co regulation, compassion and connection nothing else matters.  Parent empowerment is so important.  We know our kids best.  And we are told we are “just the parents”, and to listen to the experts.  We also have to trust ourselves.  Professionals can be wrong.  They are human.   Books like “Beyond Behaviors” is a gift to parents, to help them learn how to be the detective and become the advocate their child needs.   We are our kids best advocate!!!