Changing the kids or changing the system?

 Anyone else relate to this?  

The square peg trying over and over to fit into the round hole, but it  ultimately gets damaged because it just can’t happen.  

So then what?  

Our school system is one that still says you have to fit into what we offer.  There are no options.  The accommodations and modifications that can be written into an IEP tries, but for some of our kids, it is still trying to jam the square peg into the round hole.  Their nervous systems just can’t tolerate this one size fits all approach.  

Whether it is the environment of our traditional classrooms or the style of teaching which can vary so much from teacher to teacher, we know there are many students who year after year are getting lost in this current system. 

What are parents supposed to do for their kids?   Is this really what inclusion is?  

“We will include you, but you have to do things our way!”

Something isn’t right with this notion.  Inclusion is just too important to leave it as it is.  But how is this helpful and appropriate for our kids who need a square hole education , not a round hole education in order to thrive, develop and learn.  

This is so critical to ensure these kids feel safe, validated for their individuality and accepted for their differences which in turn allows them to access the curriculum and learn the way their brains learn. This is not just for our neurodiverse kids.  All kids have a specific learning style that needs to be supported to help them be successful.   

Maybe it is time to stop trying to change our kids to fit into a broken outdated model and finally create a school system that actually supports the individual learning styles of all our kids.  Our current education model was developed over 100 years ago.  It is an understatement to say how much our society has changed over this century.  

Given this, maybe  it isn’t our kids who are the problem after all?  Maybe it is a system that has not evolved with our current society to meet the needs of kids in this modern era, this Information age, this technologically advanced society?  Maybe it is time to change this environment to allow all of our children to bloom!  

Just like one of my favorite quotes.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower”- by Alexander Den Heijer

All kids deserve to be successful. 

What this success looks like is very individual.  This is why we need to create an updated education model that allows for individualism, that supports each child’s uniqueness and learning style, while providing the security and safety all kids need to experience in order to learn.  

Whether your child is a square, rectangle or a triangle, etc, each child is their own  individual and has their own learning style.  Kids all have their own unique needs that must be supported within the educational model.  This creates a  match between the child and their education in order for them to be successful.  

In fact, if you have more than one child, chances are you probably have a square peg learner and maybe a rectangle peg learner, or any combination of styles who each have different learning needs.  The educational system must create a match for all our kids.

From Autism Discussion Pages:

“Fitting a square peg into a round hole! Making changes at school.

 

I totally understand the passion and emotion that goes with struggling with the school systems. However, this is inherent if trying to fit children into a system poorly designed for them. The very structure and nature of the school day is not designed for the fragile nervous systems of many children on the spectrum. Physically, socially, academically, and emotionally the environment is very stressful. Whether it is the sensory bombardment, forced social regulation with peers and staff, task performance demands, informational overload, or emotional regulation problems, often the child on the spectrum is in constant stress in the school environment. Even if the child is meek and nonaggressive, their nervous systems are forced to "shut down" in order to minimize the stress.”

 ........read the rest of the post below.

Fitting a square peg into a round hole! Making changes at school.

 

I totally understand the passion and emotion that goes with struggling with the school systems. However, this is inherent if trying to fit children into a system poorly designed for them. The very structure and nature of the school day is not designed for the fragile nervous systems of many children on the spectrum. Physically, socially, academically, and emotionally the environment is very stressful. Whether it is the sensory bombardment, forced social regulation with peers and staff, task performance demands, informational overload, or emotional regulation problems, often the child on the spectrum is in constant stress in the school environment. Even if the child is meek and nonaggressive, their nervous systems are forced to "shut down" in order to minimize the stress.

 

I understand that we expect the school district to somehow modify the environment and demands, and provide supports to meet the needs of the individual child.  However, that is an incredible task for a large system that is designed to meet the needs of children without fragile nervous systems. When we choose inclusion, without ensuring that all the stressful variables are well defined and easily integrated into the overall system, we run the risk of placing the children in an environment that is constantly invalidating them.

 

In systems analysis, all systems will resist major changes that cannot be easily assimilated into the overall model. When we are asking schools to make very individualized modifications it requires major changes to a system that has to meet the needs of thousands of children. Massive changes to systems take time to evolve. Unfortunately, I realize that for your child you do not have that time to wait. However, we have to remember that we are making the decision to place the children in a setting that is often invalidating to them. I understand that for some children, inclusion can work real well, but for many children this requires many adaptations, accommodations, and modifications that have to be individually tailored to the individual. Large systems that are designed to meet the needs of the masses cannot easily adapt to individual disabilities. When I see all schools struggle with this, it is a major systems problem, not just individual attitudes of school personal. People go into teaching and education to help children grow and develop. If all the school districts struggle then there are issues inherent in what we are asking the system to do.

 

It is a shame that these kids often have to spend half their day in a setting that is often invalidating their self-worth. Children, regardless of abilities, need to be in a setting that validates there uniqueness and fosters a sense of competence. Except for a few children on the spectrum, this is often not the case. Because of this unnatural fit, many of the children suffer increased anxiety and depression.  By the time they make it through middle school, they often start to develop strong feelings of inadequacy that follow them for years into adulthood.

 

I understand why some parents choose to do homeschooling. But that is not an option for many families, and has its draw backs also. I personally think that schools should build a few "curriculum" tracks that are based on "learning styles", but are integrated together in the same building. All children have access to all resources, but are tailored to their given learning styles. This way all children can benefit from being integrated with everyone else, while their sensory, social, and academic needs are respected and satisfied.

 

Current federal and state guidelines list numerous supports that schools are required to offer, but not given user friendly ways for schools to utilize them.   Many strategies make major modifications to the current class routine or costs the schools much more money than their budgets allow for. The teacher has the job of meeting the needs of the overall group of children, while somehow having to tailor the learning to the kids with different learning styles. Again, if the changes are too big for the system to assimilate, then they will naturally resist against making the changes. Administrations see what is demanded, get overwhelmed and overload, and go into "fight or flight" mode. We have to start where they are at and stretch slowly, while keeping everyone feeling "safe, accepted, and competent."

This series on “School Issues” can be found in the green book, “Autism Discussion Page on Anxiety, Behavior, School and Parenting Strategies.”