Celebrate the ordinary!

Anyone else have a feeling we are never going to get out of this pandemic?  

It just keeps getting worse and worse.  

We are so fortunate still.  We are safe, we are still healthy.  We have a roof over our head.  We have food on our table. 

Never could I have predicted how our “bubble world” of Autism would actually have prepared us pretty well to weather this uncertain time.

When you are a family that was/ is used to not going places; is used to making the most of moments at home; is used to making special memories from the comfort of our predictable homestead, it makes staying home during this pandemic not so unusual.

I feel fortunate that my family has adapted reasonably well to this chaotic time.  That’s quite a first .  My family adapting well.  Those are some crazy words.  But so true.  

This is just a period of time that we must count our blessings. To take every precaution to keep ourselves, our families and our community safe.  

There are a lot of lessons our autism world has taught us, but a particular one comes to mind during this tumultuous time.  It really is about creating joyful experiences.  This doesn’t require going somewhere, or spending money, or being with others.  These were things that my son struggled so much with;  to the point he could not exist.  

So we made a world for him where he could exist, where he could find calm, where he could feel joy and playful.  A world where he felt safe and could explore.

That is why I called this blog Paradise in a bubble.  

We found that keeping our sons world small, quiet, minimal stimulation was what he needed in order to heal.  Heal from his trauma of medical procedures.  Heal from the sensory assault the world bombarded him with.  Heal from the pain that became seared on his brain like a branding iron.  Heal from the fear of another poke, another test or another surgery.  

His trauma was only compounded by his Autism which made his ability to communicate his pain, his discomfort, his fears, his wants, needs or preferences almost impossible during those crucial developmental years.  This leads to a child who struggles to trust others, including mom and dad.  Or especially mom and dad.    But that is for another  post.

But I know many people, families are struggling during this time.

But if I could share something that I discovered along this journey.  A once lonely journey that few understood, that many judged and felt the need to criticize; but was a path that made us so much stronger than we could ever have thought possible.  

Of course as the saying goes, hindsight is 2020.  But I have this privilege now.  A privilege to see that no matter how hard things got for our boy and our family, we stayed strong.  We stayed on a path of creating experiences that brought sometimes only a few moments of joy, but it was joy none the less.

This is what matters.  Those joyful moments created a happy memory that also got seared in our brains.   Nothing was ever “easy”; but who ever said life would be easy?  That being married would be easy? That having children would be easy?  Having a child with medical issues or developmental delays would be easy?

We need to appreciate everything we have.  Appreciate the little things that come our way.  Appreciate the time we get with our families.  It is so important to slow down, take notice of things you may ordinarily overlook.  The meaning of “ take time to stop and smell the roses” is all true.  

This is what our autism world has taught me.  Taking notice of the little things.  Appreciating a moment of the kids laughing, together.  Appreciating a moment we are all sitting around playing with the dogs, together.

Appreciating a quiet moment (because let’s face it, these are rare).  

Maybe it was a dinner I prepared and it was a hit for everyone.  Maybe it was time Ty and I spent together baking cookies, or just watching him make his favorite dish, Pad Thai all by himself.  

These moments made all the hard times worth it.  (Like I said, hindsight is 2020).   These moments made our days special.  

They were never easy, but they were all special.  

Because we were together.  We were growing together.  We were healing together. We were learning together.  

This time of chaos, is a time to see the blessings in all the little things.  

To appreciate what you have.  Enjoy the time together with your kids.  We all know how quickly they grow up.  This is a time that they will remember as either awful or not that bad considering the circumstances.  

Take a moment to connect as a family.  My girls and I take an evening walk with the dogs.  It is one of my favorite times of the day.

My husband and I have started a new build project.  We are building an “office-shed” together.  It is fun and  now that the kids are older and Ty is in such a better place that we CAN actually accomplish this.  

Ty and I still script together.  This helps reduce his anxiety and bring some control to his world that would otherwise feel pretty out of control.  He and I plan our family dinners.  He loves to make us all laugh by being silly with our little dog Oliver.  These are the moments that I hope my kids remember.  I hope these are the moments that maybe calmed some of their fears they probably have;    because let’s be honest, this is a crazy time and we are living through a once in a hundred years global pandemic .  

 But this is my point.  What experiences are you having that might create some joyful moments in this otherwise very unpredictable scary time?  

What brought a smile to your face today?  What made you laugh out-loud?

Did you have a good moment with your family?  Did something stand out in your day that made you think, that was pretty cool?  

These are the moments to live for.  These are the special times that are there to remind us how fortunate each of us are!  We cannot take life for granted.  

Some of us learned this a while ago.  

Some are learning it now.  

Some  may never learn this.  

But my advice, in case you were interested, enjoy each moment that you see a smile on your child’s face.  

Read a favorite book during this time.  

Cook a favorite meal that your child helped choose.  

Celebrate the ordinary.  

This makes the ordinary extraordinary!  

It makes for some happy moments that fill your soul.  

And one day when we can all hopefully look back on 2020, and reflect back on what a mess the world became for a brief time in our history, our hindsight will recall some special moments that will bring a smile to your face.  

A memory that warms your heart.  

These are what will get us through difficult times.  This is what helped us through our most difficult years.  It isn’t about never having hardships.  It is about how you weather the storm.  And more importantly, who is on the boat with you!  

I hope everyone who reads this stays healthy and safe and finds a happy moment that makes you smile.