and then the next time you open your eyes
it's gone and we're back to behaviors!
It is hard to get my act together in such a good loving way to 'HELP' him because clearly he is struggling
struggling in a way that is hard for him and hard for us to know how to best help him!
But at 6:45AM and it's beginning
and I find myself going into a negative place
feeling angry, frustrated, tired,
but I knew if I didn't get myself turned around, it's only going to fuel his state of mind
so I dug deep, and man I had to dig real deep this morning
Gretchen by my side
and together I went to my place to help him!
My voice of Gretchen, my silly dog character of when she is licking him like crazy, he's giggling, (yet I am sitting on top of him because he was swinging and throwing things at me)
and Gretchen is right there sitting on his back-
,p>
Like, hmm tastes like its been a while since you've had a bath- yumm yumm, nice and salty!
and more things like oh please give me a belly rub, I love your belly rubs....
but believe me it is not in my voice- Gretchen is only 2 1/2 so I talk as if she can't pronounce her R's or her L's and bring her voice of a toddler talking
he loves it and as I knew, ultimately he chilled out!
He couldn't bring himself into this state by himself, that's where he lacks this critical self help skill
when he's not feeling right, he's anxious, he's tired, he's bored, he's bored, he's unsure of how to properly process things happening in that moment, even if really nothing is going on- he isn't able to settle his own body to just exist
he is not able to just sit and pet Gretchen, he isn't able to sit and watch a TV show, he isn't able to at this point do anything but "walk around like a tornado causing chaos and havoc- rather than asking for help- he isn't able to ask
This is a complete out of touch with his own body's needs and wants and on a more difficult day the only way he knows how to "get help" by causing issues and having behaviors!
just like a toddler who is cranky, tired, and not sure how to handle all that is going on- they act out.... this is just like Ty!
but in a 10 year olds body
But ultimately it did work, my Gretchen voice and silliness was effective and he went into the kitchen, washed raspberries, ate them, and laid down to watch a video and ultimately he fell asleep.
This is just what happens, this is just how things are at times for him, it was a big week, it was actually a huge week, and he's been trying
boy has he been trying to collect himself even alittle bit- and we've had moments
but we've also had "other" moments, not so good moments, more challenging moments, moments where clearly he is struggling, moments that I wish I could take away with a snap of my fingers
but I can't! All I can do it dig deep into my patience to help him .... because we know..... he is a good boy, he is a loving boy, he is a very intelligent boy, he is our son
and he just struggles A LOT
and all we can do is our best to help him the best we can and to continue to love him unconditionally!
And in the meantime of all of this, balancing our energy and patience and attention to the girls and each other!
However on a good positive note, the girls and I had "girl mom time"
we all got our haircuts, we went to the library, and then to frozen yogurt!
Yep, some good girl time, giving them some much needed and over due attention, and trying to just "be" with them!
I know they get cheated out on a lot of things, especially our attention, it's hard... that's all I can say about it.... it's hard!
and we do the best we can.... but it's hard!
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