And pretty much, the one thing that is constant, CHANGE!!!!!
We have started to experience our little leaks in our bubble world... which of course is bound to happen- I mean really, how on earth can we absolutely keep things "one way" .....
well, as much as we try, we can't...... but unlike most other human beings, it does cause great distress in my son!
And distress in him, is equal to dysregulation, behaviors, inability to cope, struggles- outbursts, meltdowns, verbal aggression.... a completely disorganized little boy who is suffering.
And I hate that I can't control the universe to allow him to be the little boy he can be-
But as good of a run as we've had- which has been absolutely amazing...
When I say amazing- I mean..... we have seen our little boy be so happy and engaging.... calm,regulated, excited, a pure joy!
Now, don't get me wrong... behaviors occur, outbursts are still an everyday occurrence, verbal aggression still happens....
But the big difference is- we are able to parent him!
Parenting to his needs. We have had so many periods of time where things were so absolutely difficult, behaviors so out of control, nothing any of us did was helpful or successful: it was all about 'MANAGING' his behaviors to keep him safe and everyone else safe... he's like a spinning top- spiraling out of control... IT IS THE WORST TIMES IN OUR WORLD... IT'S SO DIFFICULT TO WATCH AND FEEL SO HELPLESS!
These are periods of time we cannot parent him..... it's so out of control- he's so out of control.......
But yep, the one thing that is tried and true that HELPS HIM more than any medication, more than any behavior modification, all the OT in the world....more than ANYTHING........
Closing down his world and minimizing all the external environmental stimuli.....
This is what we have known for years and years and years... and we've done what "all the experts say to do, try, etc.." and what happens.................. a chaotic disorganzied, inability to cope and deal with anything little boy! That's what happens.
So, here we are in the beginning of Fall. Weather has changed. Time has changed with the end of day light savings
Schedules are changing, meetings are occurring disrupting the usual routine,
Holidays are coming, birthdays are coming, more holiday festivities, xmas decorations, xmas lights, Santa, gifts, more changes in weather, more changes in other peoples schedule.....
How many more setting events can we throw his way!!!!
I saw a sneak peak of a change yesterday. Day was going well- but the behaviorist can a change in her schedule and was late by 2hours
Brian had a late night meeting and wasn't home until after bedtime
It was a Wednesday, which means Sarah gets home from school earlier then usual for early out day and Megan starts school later for late start day (yeah, sometimes tough to keep up with all the school changes :) )
And for the first day in quite a while, he got upset over me telling Sarah it was time to go inside..... Sarah and Ty had been playing so sweetly in the leaves- throwing them, jumping in them, racking them up... I love seeing that interaction.....
But this is something that he struggles with - transitions, whether it's Sarah deciding she wants to stop playing, or me saying it's time to stop the activity and move on... to blah blah.. whatever it is.... this is still a very challenging task for him- and usually ends in some verbal words that require him to "take a minute"..... but this time, he got angry at me...
and decided to pick up a stick and swing it at me... do I think he really wanted to hit me?
No..... it's his threat that he tries to use to control the situation... because ultimately it's all about control and him trying to control his world
But unfortunately compared to how things had been going- he didn't back down, he continued, and further aggressed.
Okay, he just stepped into new territory- territory we haven't been in for several weeks now... territory that starts to remind me of what our life is really like- and essentially we cannot control the universe.... to help him!
Luckily it ended okay, and ultimately he spent time in the hammock, and ultimately him wanting my attention became a bigger incentive than continuing on with the behavior....
But it is a reminder of how quickly these setting events, other peoples schedule changes, a simple late night meeting that daddy has....... really really affects him- and causes him to struggle....
Now, he recovered from it more quickly- thank goodness- that's one thing that is definitely a positive even when there is a behavior... his ability to recover is improved right now... but
we have another schedule change for today with the behaviorist, next week is a complete change in schedule for Sarah, then it's Thanksgiving break, then Megan's birthday, then December, then Christmas thoughts, ideas, activities (within our home of course, because I think you can tell going out doesn't happen :0.......)
More big changes in schedules, Brian is home for 2 weeks, behaviorists have schedule changes, girls are off for holiday, Lights, gifts, excitement, anticipation, and just after the first of the year... Brian is schedule for his surgery!
So, how many changes can happen and be thrown our way..... we will continue to do the best we can.... we will continue to help Ty through all these "changes"
and I just pray that we as a team are able to help him continue this streak of happiness, of smiles, of a playful little guy.....
Trust me, even on the best of days there are "things" that cause challenges.....heck, we aren't able to leave the house as a family- we aren't able to leave the house with him, one of us always always has to be home with him..... it's challenging to us as parents...
It's a very difficult balancing act... as if parenting isn't already a challenging balancing act... but imagine trying to do it and not ever being able to leave your house.... or knowing if we do........ what will most likely happen!
Yeah, it sucks...... and yet when it's the only thing we know we can do to truly help our son, it's easy at the same time..... but seriously, enough with the changes occurring... please universe stay in one place for my son!!!!! :)
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