oh he almost cracked, but then crashed........ and a little about dogs!

Well, my second day in Paradise was almost interrupted by frustration and anger and simply "fighting over a sister". Yes, I have 2 children who continually fight over Sarah's attention. UGh.. so frustrating for me- because in the end Ty gets so worked up about it- he literally say's things like "Megan stole Sarah from me"...and breaks down into tears, sobbing, weeping in fetal position; as if Sarah has no choice in the matter of who she wants to play with or what she wants to play. In fact, she's the kid who say's things like "guys guys, can't we all just play nicely together!" ahhhh music to my sensitive ears- but the answer 91/2 times out of 10 is, no they can't :( -When simply asked, she wanted to play with Megan and not Ty. But that's too hard for him to process when he's just on the verge of falling asleep. I knew something would set him off, even just a little bit- before he would crash. So this was the "setting" event, aka antecedent for all those ABA language folks, he tried to get physical, he threw something, I prompted him to take 1 minute- he went without complaint in the dog bed with the dogs- fast asleep probably in less then 2 minutes! Pretty typical- just like a toddler... cranky behavior then crash! (Day's like this are piece of cake... it's the other days that behavior is far more severe that is hard and more of the norm). But for today, even with 2 behaviorists here, he showed quite a bit of flexibility. He and I baked cookies after they left, and he had lots of smiles. Pin this one to the memory bank! So, now I have some clean up to do - which I don't mind when the rest of the day has gone well.... he and I made Peanut Butter with Chocolate sprinkles. They are so tasty- and naturally gluten and dairy free... we have no peanut allergies here- thank goodness.... that is a source of protein that my children survive on. Hungry, have a peanut butter pop- aka a spoon of peanut butter with bakery sprinkles on top. Hmm good and a quick protein boost! But these cookies are also yummy- I'll post the recipe on pinterst under Gluten/Dairy free ideas. And it's one of my favorite activities to do with my little guy. He loves to bake and so do I..... so it's a nice shared interest. He usually likes to bake things for the dogs... and he's very quick to turn a baking idea into a treat for the dogs... hmm which is fine- but wow do we waste a lot doing that. And especially not my expensive gluten free mixes- no way- they are not cheap and the dogs do not appreciate them enough! Plus a lot goes un used because he makes so much. We love making special dog biscuits, or dog treats... Ty's favorite is literally peanut butter with dog kibble in it... (that's his no bake recipe). But trust me, you don't really want to eat the peanut butter once he's done with it- the whole oops got dog food in the peanut butter thing is kind of gross, wouldn't you say? But I love that he wants to do special things for the dogs. That's 'HIS' connection to the world. Literally... he speaks through the dogs a lot. For example, he'll say things like "Ollie doesn't like that noise, or Ollie's tummy hurts".... or "that scare Ollie" (btw Ollie is Oliver our sweet kind little Chihuahua Terrier mix that is 12 lbs... he is the greatest dog for Ty- so loving, patient, and literally let's Ty do anything. Ty loves to dress him up, bathe with him, and Ty literally used Oliver to (caution here's that word again) REGULATE.... he grooms Oliver, he strokes Olivers ears, he picks his toes, and literally lays with Oliver to nap. Not much else is as sweet as this... Oliver is the most amazing dog for Ty. Now, I didn't say he was the perfect dog. Almost, but not quite... one little thing about Oliver- he gets car sick- real bad!!! Even just going 1/4 mile around the corner- ugh... we almost thought Oliver was the perfect companion service dog for so many reasons... but he throws up in the car, then Ty wants to throw up in the car... quite a chain effect. But it taught us a lot about Ty and how Ty uses animals, loves animals, but really truly connects to them. In fact, this is our connection to him. We can't really sit around like other families and just talk. But we can if we are talking only about the dogs. Look how cute Oliver is being, look at little Sadie (she's our other little Chihuahua Pekinese mix- also 12lbs, and way more DIVA like and feisty- a great dog, but she's sort of boss). Our family can all connect around the dogs. It's the most beautiful thing we experience. So this leads me to another post some time soon- when our family has been accepted into the Canine Companions for Independence service dog program. Well, I should say Ty has, but since he's just a kid, it's really an entire family thing and I will be the actual facilitator as they call it. Yes, my son will ultimately we getting a service dog- that will be a beautiful, kind, loving, helpful dog- that can go EVERYWHERE with Ty. Now I know this is alot of pressure for this dog- but we are really banking on the dogs ability to help relieve some anxiety and help keep a focus for Ty when he's out in the external world - outside his home environment - his safe zone.... we've seen it happen with Oliver. It really helps Ty to be calm and focused and regulate. Problem is Oliver is a little chihuahua who gets car sick and can't just go into any place. But service dogs.... well trained dogs to help relieve his anxiety, help him regulate (by the dogs physical presence and by Ty petting, hugging, staying focused on the dog..)... ohhhh it was a long process, but if there is anyone who would benefit from a service companion- it's my son! So many studies showing the positive effects of animals with kids on the spectrum, and the positive benefits and independence that service companions can bring to a kid (who will grow up to be an adult) on the spectrum. And for a kid who just can't handle the external environment, who struggles with so many regulatory problems, who regularly has to go the hospital for bowel disimpaction and other medical issues..... wow I can only imagine how much a service companion can help him get through all these life events. And in reality- some day, he will be an adult. He's already 9 and lacks so much practical life skills, is developmentally a 3 1/2 year old, and is so smart, and suffers so much day to day. A service companion will only enhance his abilities, increase his independence (we're hoping to literally shift dependence he has on myself and my husband for regulating (called co-regulating) to the service companion dog which would be more a big deal! I'll post more about this, especially as we learn more- we are just waiting "to be called" right now- made it through all the interviews, background check supports, the entire list of requirements- down to receiving the beautiful letter that Ty has been accepted! That was a joyful day as you can imagine. But we wait, and look forward to this experience. And Ty can't wait!