I love this post today from OT Greg Santucci. So much of what I have learned is how OT and consideration for our kids nervous system and how they process the world around them is the KEY to supporting them.
When the world is overwhelming, they lose the ability to maintain a sense of calm, or of themselves ( which is why you may see a child who normally doesn’t lash out when frustrated, but then starts to lose it over something). Their nervous system is beyond capacity and it is true, when a parent says, that’s not like them. Bingo....it is not because they are not in any control over their body and being.
It is pure survival.
Imagine how you would respond if you were being chased down a dark ally by a bear!! I’m pretty certain I would not be in any mindset to make a decision let alone follow a direction or a demand. You lose your ability to hear or to think in any rational way when in fight or flight.
So I am a huge fan of maintaining regulation through appropriately supporting ones nervous system, throughout the day, so that everything we do, is a support for his nervous system, to help it maintain a balance and when it gets out of balance, utilizing what I’ve learned through years of his OT to help bring calm regulation back. Nothing functions well without being in a calm regulated brain state.
Some of our kids have a very difficult time either staying regulated or being able to self regulate when becoming escalated. And it is important to rememebr, self regulation is a developmental process. So for kids who have developmental delay, yeah they will not necessarily be able to self regulate their emotions, self calm, self soothe. But I recognize the frustration parents have that their 10 yo or 15 yo still struggles to be able to self regulate their body and emotions and the consequences of this. The explosive behaviors are real. Again, remember it is developmental, so by supporting them during these difficult moments, you are modeling and sharing your calm that over time will help them learn to on their own.
This is where the safe trusted caregiver can improve the situation and share their own calmness. (Which is natural for some or some of us have had to learn it ourselves).
Here was my response to the post that is shared below.
Love this. It is 100% . Trust, safety and co regulation have to be the focus for everything . It is like magic when a therapist a family works with, “gets this” and you see your child form this relationship. It is ll about relationships!!!! I wish teachers, educators, therapists, parents understood how important this is to supporting kids. And seeing when a relationship has a fracture, that the only thing that should happen next, is repeating that fracture. The child will not feel safe or connected without this occurring. And exactly like you said, slide back until it does.
Keep education others.....people are starting to pay attention. The old, antiquated methods have not worked and many relationships need repair because of them (I know this personally with my son).
It is ok to step back, and focus on this repair. Progress cannot happen without it!!! Love the graphic. Thank you for all your continued advocacy!
Original post…
Trust and Safety.
I checked in with a family about how the week went.
The child comes running up to me and says "I STAYED DRY IN MY BED ONE NIGHT!" They were so proud.
I said: That's amazing!
Our "OT goals" were for attention, sensory processing and behavior.
I love that they shared their news with me.
Typically and embarrrassing topic, this child didn't hesitate to share their success!
This child will meet every OT goal and probably a few extra, because they trust me and I'm meeting their safety needs. Because of that, we can work on their sensory processing and regulation skills so they can participate at their highest level of ability.
At any given moment during our time together, I may need to "slide" back down to either help them get regulated, or earn their trust again....and that's OK. In fact, it's necessary.
Trust and Safety
Regulation
Participation
I will shout it from the highest mountain. If you don't have their trust or their safety needs aren't met, then you can't move forward with your goals and expectations.
If you're yelling- the child doesn't feel safe.
If you are constantly changing the rules- they don't trust you.
If you say things like "you're fine" or "its no big deal"- they don't feel safe.
If you lose your patience and take things away as a "consequence"- they don't trust you.
Trust and Safety
Regulation
Participation
#TheModelofChildEngagement
"Safety is treatment and treatment is safety" -Stephen Porges
#occupationaltherapy
No comments :
Post a Comment