I may not understand it, but I always respect it

  I really like how this OT frames the idea of forcing eye contact.  It should never be a goal for a child.  It is never appropriate.    When kids feel safe and connected, and are in a regulated brain state many things including eye contact happen organically.  You can never force it.  And if you try, you can create many other issues for the child.  

I personally understand this eye contact scenario.  When I am in a crowd, maybe a party or conference full of people, ( this is definitely a pre children and autism world scenario. Lol) and there is a lot of talking, music,  or just a lot happening around me, I have a hard time focusing and especially holding a conversation.  In fact, I typically look down to try and hear better.  It helps me focus and process and help block out some of the background noises.  It is really hard.  But certainly I would not be making appropriate eye contact in a situation like this.  Understanding this about myself, and my own sensitivity in different environments has brought me a greater understanding and appreciation for some of the things my son goes through.  And even if I don’t understand it, I respect it.  

We all do the best we can and we all are so unique in how we process the world and how the external world impacts us that without a greater appreciation for our differences, we will continue to potentially cause harm to a child or adult that doesn’t meet an in realistic expectation.  

Do not force eye contact.  In fact, forcing anything is never helpful.

Original FB post by Greg Santucci, OT:

No, Mr. Miyagi, DO NOT FORCE EYE CONTACT!

The Autistic child in your house, or on your caseload, should not have a goal for eye contact, and eye contact should not be forced.

Eye contact happens organically when the child feels safe enough, and regulated enough, to make eye contact.

Requiring eye contact is ableist, and hypocritical.

Remember when you were driving in a new neighborhood and LOOKING for that street address? You turned the radio down to do it.

YOU decreased the auditory stimuli to focus on using your vision. YOU turned off one sensory system to heighten another, yet YOU are forcing a child to use a sensory system against their will?

And if someone cranked up the radio in defiance, you might yell "hey, I trying to concentrate!"

Well, HEY! They're trying to REGULATE! 

Please remove eye contact goals from any intervention plan.