I was writing something recently, introducing myself and why I am so passionate about advocacy for our kids with special needs and supporting parents along their own journeys.
It quickly reminded me why I am fighting to help all our kids. And why I feel so compelled to educate others about this change in lens from “our kids are bad” “ our kids are dangerous” “our kids can’t be successful”....to our kids can be successful, our kids are struggling and need our help, our kids need to feel safety and connection and need US to co regulate with them.
The brain science is clear, however too few follow and understand it. People resist change. ABA is observable, if we offer a reward to these kids, they will comply to demands, they need motivation, and if not they need consequences etc etc etc.....
I’m an open book. I feel it is important to help others understand that they are not alone. And so sharing personal stories has helped others to see the hard work can help things get better.
To not lose hope!
(Windy Road in September is a photograph by Shawn Einerson which was uploaded on October 15th, 2018.)
Even on those most challenging days, as parents, self reflection is key; am I regulated to be able to help my child? Or am I joining the chaos?
For years, I know we joined the chaos way too often. We didn’t understand ourselves and how our response impacts our son.
Professionals in our circle told us we needed to be firm, hold the line, to not let him escape, to be consistent, he is manipulating you, make him comply, and if it doesn’t work, it is our fault.
I never want parents to have to experience what we endured to get to this point.
Changing our lenses sooner, only helps our kids sooner.
My families story is a long journey. Each part contributing to the next step. That’s why I take one moment at a time. One step at a time.
Success looks different for everyone. Don’t forget to celebrate each moment and steps along the way.
It is part of your families story.
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