Staying at home....

Yesterday was a "stay at home" kind of day.

A much needed break from the outside world and all the stimulus it offers

It did help my little guy have a better day, a pretty calm day with just me, him and our 3 dogs.

But you could definitely tell he was on edge, agitated, and at the drop of a hat might explode

I hate walking on egg shells, but I may be part of the blame. I got a little taste of the "outside world" and I think I over did it for him.

It's back to what we know, and probably small small small doses and then a big break.

I got excited about the possibility of doing more outside our home environment. Without taking into consideration it might just still be too much. Especially after a whirlwind 2 weeks- which were so great!

But the big difference of being there and now home is, at some point there are obligations, household chores, many transitions, and the inability to give him 100% of one of us... as things had been (esp in the beginning of CCI).

The great thing was after several days we saw an independence we had never seen. He was comfortable to come and go from building to our trailer, ride his bike, and didn't need "as much" of our constant attention.

At home right now, we are back to him needing a great deal of our attention. "Watch me play basketball, watch me play with the dogs, watch me play xbox, watch me....." this is our usual - he needs our constant focus in order to feel some what organized and safe. And our physical presence where we can be seen ....

Which is easier for me to do during the day, that is my main focus- however after coming home from a 2 week trip away,

let's just say there are LOTS of household chores that have to be done, laundry, yard, cleaning, cooking, all the regular day in and day out things!

So this is definitely more challenging right now- for both of us. I was hoping he would maintain some of this independence, and he still is wanting my entire focus.

But that's okay, baby steps baby steps... I sometimes get ahead of myself... especially when we see some amazing changes-

but I also need to remember what our therapists, OTs etc have all told us- some days will be easier to do things than others, it depends on how he is processing it all.. and the days that he loses it- was just one thing too many....

So, I'm arranging Sarah to be picked up from school for the rest of this week. Maybe we'll plan on 1 or 2 days picking her up-

and just need to get back to a good routine full of proprioceptive calming activities, get his body back to a calmer state, back to a state that he can better tolerate excess stimuli, be more flexible, and literally just be present.

right now, he is doing a lot of yelling at everyone, a lot of very nuisance behaviors towards sisters, a lot of behaviors that tell me his body is out of control, he's lashing out and we have to help him stay focused and in a good state of mind. He's not capable right now on doing it on his own.

But than again, we are still transitioning home and transitioning to this new amazing chapter with Gretchen.... and want to know what she does when he starts getting agitated and starts having behaviors.... this is great

she goes and licks him.. she wiggles her little doggie behind and gives her full attention to him- which has occasionally been breaking the "cycle" of the behavior...This is a good thing. This is what he needs! This is magical!