I'll miss him......

Christmas, check

New Years, check

Brian's pre-op appointment, check

get shopping done early, plan meals,

check

Make back up arrangements for next week in case, well, in case it's necessary because as they say Sh** happens

And if it's gonna happen

It's gonna happen to us ......

Have Monday morning details ironed out for Brian getting to the hospital at 5:30AM

Get oldest off to school that morning

littlest is not going to go to school- too complicated of a day

Behaviorists will be here

Sister in law will come over

I will hopefully be able to go to the hospital to support my husband during and after his surgery

And then the rest of the week-

we will just have to wing it..... and pray for the best!

Get ready for a roller coaster ride.....

I think the deep pounding of my heart in my chest may be a bit of panic attack... seems to happen every time I start to think about next week.... ay yay yah..... but denial won't get me anywhere... I need to plan... plan plan plan

and plan some more... because that's how things will roll, right???

According to plan... but please someone give that memo to my children- especially Ty.

If it's not part of the plan, forget it... these next few weeks- it has to go according to plan- or else !!!! :)

because solo parenting my children- well pretty impossible, especially when you can't leave the house- and you have very severe behaviors with one that well, is really hard and difficult to say the least.

You know how they say you don't really appreciate your spouse for all that they really do do around the house... well, I already know how much Brian does for the family, the kids, for the house, for me...

There is no way this could be done by one parent... and I know we both know that... we really really rely on each other for our sanity, when the other is about to crack, to get things done around the house, and to be the other half that holds the family and this house together... it really is a two person job, and I will desperately miss my partner in crime.... my shoulder to cry on, my person to make me laugh, to call me short, to banter back and forth doing our secret messages and sarcastic humor inside jokes...it's what we do....

and I'll miss that! I'll miss him, and I will worry about him- and I hope I can be there for him during his recovery the way he needs me to be......

I'll just have to the best I can and look forward, not back!