Bring on 2014.

Really, the year is over and we start a new year tomorrow? Well, then let's do this...and we will tackle each challenge one at a time....and even though mistakes will be made..we will keep our heads high and know special moments will happen! So happy new year and may everyone have good health, happy moments, and good luck in 2014!

We are strong!

Ten days.... not that I'm counting or anything. But seems like everyone I know keeps asking "how can we help during this time?"

Simply put, I have no idea. I just have no idea how little guy will handle all that will go on

everything he knows and thrives for with his routine

will change in ten days- when daddy goes in for surgery!

From sleeping, to playtime the way daddy plays (I play football and other sports, but do I play exactly like daddy- of course not- I'm not daddy- I'm mommy!

And it's only referring to two different people who play because they are two different people

That's a tough change for him. He tends to like to do some things with me, and other things with Brian- just for this reason.

But I do wonder, how will this affect him? How will this affect our entire family? And the reality is - it's incredible that Brian has this opportunity to help his sister.

A decision like this is without complete hesitation, without thinking about it, it's just an absolute YES-

He has the opportunity to help his sister like no one else in this world... to help her feel better, to get back to being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend

How amazing is that!

And how to help, I'm not even sure others will be able to help in the way they think.... groceries, yep that's helpful, errands, definitely, meals... of course- but we also understand how difficult some think it is to cook GF and DF... but still helpful

and as far as our household goes, we are going to do the best to minimize other changes, transitions, we are going to do our best to get through the healing days, to remember to breathe when things get rough, and to know bad moments happen, but so do good moments

When I let me fear take over as to what if........

I'm reminding myself, the stuff that I fear, will pass... and we will experience a good moment again.

I do not want to send out negative signals to the kids- we will all need to rely on each other and I know my family is strong. Boy are we strong!

Falling off the track....

Merry Christmas.... day one after Christmas day....how was yesterday?

Our day, little guy was up at 2:50 AM.... then finally Brian and I were up at 6:30

some how our 7:30AM don't bother mom and dad threat had no impact - haha , but wow tired!

Then gifts, gifts, and more gifts... we come from a very large extended family- and I do know my children like the act of unwrapping... no matter what... so I literally wrap everything- one book, one hair bow, one set of mittens...

and when we have all day since we were not going to go anywhere.. well, it's fun for them!

But was the day without issues.... not by a long shot!

And it's always unexpected and just when we think things are calm.

He had a lot of emotions surrounding Megan and Sarah... but could not handle engaging or playing with both of them at the same time.

Even though they were including him when he asked to play... things just constantly turned sour immediately- tears would begin to flow, and then destruction!

At one point, he started to cry because his feelings were sad, and then boom- anger kicked out the sad feelings and he took his hand and swiped everything off the center kitchen island... ugh.... yep crash!

These are the tough moments of Autism-

The holidays are just overwhelming- no matter what we do to try and minimize the over stimulation to his senses, minimize the flow of people- (actually to almost nothing this year- it's just is too hard), and yet still it's just a hard day!

Should we be surprised?

no, we shouldn't! I just like to be wrong in these situations

We left the house, as a family, on Christmas eve to deliver the toy drive donations to the children's hospital!

That was hard for him.

Everything is different this week- that is hard for him.

And he knows that daddy will soon be going into the hospital to donate a kidney ..... and honestly- I am not sure he understands , even though he says he does.

Today he heard Brian talking on the phone about it, and Ty went off running and locked himself in his room.

And even though we are open to remind him that it's for daddy, not for him, I don't know if he can even get his head around that because he always says, I heard you say I have to get my button changed.

And maybe that's what he heard, even though it wasn't from our mouths... it's just what is always always on his mind- every little whisper he thinks we do- it's about him and his button needing changing

Anything he doesn't understand, it must be he has to have his button changed.

It really is a terrifying experience for him, regardless of the routine of it- over 4 1/2 years of every single night of doing his bowel irrigation on the potty..... it's still difficult and not routine to him.... he struggles with it still every night!

So, day one after the big holiday- day one of recovery to bring normalcy back to our house, day one of again creating an environment in which Ty can better cope and deal with things in life, to appropriately react to situations that frustrate him and disappoint him, to be happy, to be calm, to be content, to be loving!

These are all really difficult when his system is just overwhelmed.

And we have exactly 11 days to get things back in order for him before Brian's surgery.... so here's to working hard to help our family achieve "normalcy" for us and to get things back on track- before things fall off the track once again! Because we just can't control the universe, as our little guy needs!

We just do the best we can.

We left our house as a family of 5.....

First time we have left our house as a family of 5 since August...

to deliver 191 Christmas gifts we collected from our generous friends, family, neighbors and our community to deliver to the Children's Hospital.

Ty didn't want to go, but still willingly got in the car. However, he did not get out of the car once we arrived after a short 15 minutes drive. We could see how hard that was for him- he was more anxious than he's been recently, he was more sensory overloaded- (the rule in the car became a no talking zone).

But he did it. We did it.

I know it was hard for him......But it was successful!

The holidays are not easy on my little guy.... as exciting as it all is, it also comes at a big price to his system!

His internal self....

I was very proud of my family! We all know that we are helping others have a brighter Christmas. And we understand that we are so fortunate to not have a loved one at this time in the hospital.

It's Christmas Eve.

My children are anxiously watching the NORAD Santa Tracker just waiting.

It's fun to see their spirits so bright, and pure joy.

It's like the Kenny Roger's Christmas song, "Christmas is for kids"....

never heard it? It's a good one... I grew up listening to his album, my mom would play it while we all decorated the tree

It's a fond memory of mine... and the song rings truth about the meaning of Christmas!

It's for kids, it's to cherish our loved one's, near and far, it's celebrating the birth of Christ, it's about giving to others!

I want my children understand the importance of giving to others, helping out others, being kind to others, and know that they can make a difference in this world.

Look at what one little family was able to achieve... by reaching out to others... we created a lot of smiles today to so many kids! That feels good! Happy Birthday Jesus! Merry Christmas to you all...... And I don't know the next time we'll be able to leave our house again as a family of 5, but that's okay!

We did it today, and now it's time to get back to what helps Ty the most..... absolute calm, structured, predictable, therapeutic lifestyle!

That's what he needs..... that's what he'll get!

My week of woes and blessings

Oldest still home from school with ear infection... day 4 1/2.... but doing better after antibiotics... even with ear tubes, it's been really bad.

We started more construction on our new bedroom, bathroom, laundry room.

Why ...... well we love to just throw more matters into our already complicated life. Honestly as tough of a week it's been... having different things to focus on, between Christmas, construction, Brian's surgery coming up...

it's always good to have more than one thing to think about... too much focus on one item isn't good in this household, esp for little Ty!

But one thing I hate is lack of sleep.. it's so hard to function and stay rational when you're tired!

So this was my day yesterday, okay actually starting Wednesday... one vomiting due to ear infection, plumbing turned off for a few hours..... no power all day Thursday... things didn't go as "planned"..... I did forget to mention to them ,/p>

they are working on our house..... I should have warned them NOTHING GOES AS PLANNED

took sick one to doctor...

proud of Ty who handled really well all this stuff happening around him... including going on the potty as usual when there was no power.... he had a light (thank goodness for our generator when we camp).

but more typically is anything different- it's a no go in his mind

I was very proud of all of them for handling the best they can the inconvenience!

I have an awesome friend. she is such a blessing- who brought me a Starbucks and an iPad to borrow (ok, 2 ipads to borrow)... and I can't say anything more about them in case my kids are reading this...... ;) - she really knows my kids so well!

And to say it was a life saver.... well- yes it was!

The house is turned upside down (more than our usual messy house).... and having a sick one and not being able to do laundry-

yeah, I"m a little behind!

Contractor is disconnecting washer and dryer tonight- so they can pour cement slap for the new floor... which means what???

Mama is doing probably 8 loads of laundry today....

And I guess if it doesn't all get done, it doesn't all get done...

Oh and when they were working on the electrical panel..... something happened (big surprise) and it blew out my one and only cooking device.... my toaster oven..

My real oven had stopped working last June.... haven't replaced it yet (built in wall one's are not cheap)

and the one cooking device I have been using... to bake with Ty, to toast his EVERYDAY GF bagel that is part of his routing

to bake,

did I mention, to bake?

The one thing Ty and I do inside the house together.... BAKE!

But the poor electrician feels so bad, and he's a nice guy and is replacing my toaster oven!

That's awesome... so I just have to head out and buy a new toaster oven!

sounds good to me!

So, overwhelming week, I'm tired, I'm cranky (ask my husband), I'm running at 90mph, and I'm kind of ready to slow things down!

Oh, forgot, it's Christmas next week, oh and 2 weeks from Monday, my husband is donating a kidney and will be in the hospital for several days then off work for 6-8 weeks!

Slowing down, probably not in the forecast..... Lord give me strength!

surviving on 2 1/2 hours sleep.....

And today's new day brings the sun up with out this mama sleeping more than 2 1/2 hours.

Yep, a bit tired- have oldest home with ear infection.... or at least severe ear pain- she has ear tubes- second set... lots of good drainage- but not until the last 30 minutes had we been able to get the pain under control.

And where there's pain, there is a tummy ache, tears, nausea, dizziness, more tears, more tears and lots of trips to get the wash cloth wet with warm water to be a relieving warm compress on the ear.

Yep, fun night!

And why is it, I"m awake, helping Megan all night- Ty for the first time in weeks decides to sleep until 6:00am

Really... of course- but in reality- that's a blessing!

But my poor Meggie boo was so miserable, that she didn't want mama to leave her side- so I knew she was hurting!

So finishing up my first cup of coffee for the day.... most likely there will be a refill necessary around noon.

predictability?

A new day, a new reality.... because in reality- every day is a new day and we never know what to expect from our little guy.

That is one of the big differences we experience... with our girls, pretty much on a day to day, we know their personalities, we know their de-meaner,

we know how they'll "typically" respond to any given situation..... but with Ty- it's not like that.

I can honestly say I never know from minute to minute what to expect from Ty.

He is a kid who needs so much routine, structure, absolute consistency with all things, no surprises, no changes and he needs to know what to expect.

Kind of ironic don't you think?

Because he is actually the opposite of all of that in each day to day moment. I think this may be one of the hardest parts of raising a child with the issues he has- whether it's attributable to Autism, the Mood Disorder, ADHD, his PTSD... who knows.... maybe all of it.... but no 2 minutes ever looks the same....

How he responded in a situation one time, well don't count on that same response the next time

So it is always like a guessing game, throwing darts.... because at this point, we've been through this for 91/2 years with him, and for me, my nature is to be prepared, to be ready for whatever comes my way.... I really hate being caught off guard, especially with behaviors-

It's like when things are not going well, he's expressing lots of behaviors- well we're already on guard, so it honestly seems easier to "deal with".

Compared to when things are going well, he's actually showing "more predictability" in his mannerisms, showing flexibility

as things have been for the past 2 weeks..... then is seems so much harder to re group and deal emotionally with these meltdowns.

It is a quick jump out of our emotional good place, back to survival, keep everyone safe, keep him safe, and even trying to predict what his next move will be so that he doesn't hurt himself or others.

He is always full of surprises when he gets into this mode... and there is no way of getting him out of it without taking full control of him

He gets into this place that is honestly so out of touch of reality, he's up he's down, he's sometimes hallucinating, he's manic, he's just out of control.

No other way to put it.... and nothing will stop him

It just sucks!

I think this life of constant unpredictability, the constant emotional roller coaster ride, the possibility that any minute he may explode, and what will it look like?

Will it be manageable, will it be verbal, physical, will he destroy things, will he threaten the girls, will he run away?

These are always the unknowns that we always have sitting at the top of our memory, (until weeks go by and it starts to sink lower into our memory banks... only to then be shot back up to the top like a cannon creating chaos and pain

because, at least for me, I quickly go back into a mode that I hate being in.

It's not a natural state of mind for me, it takes all my energy

but that is certainly one thing my little guy has taught me along this journey

there are more sides to me than I realized, I do have reserves I never knew I had, and I've learned so much about myself

it's quite amazing when I think about this world of our life, and the lessons we've been taught. I guess as they say, you NEVER stop learning! :)

A swift kick in the reality end.......

Had a swift kick in reality tonight... 1 1/2 hour meltdown.....

and just when you get used to NOT having to deal with such big behaviors- ... ugh! The reality pill is hard to swallow tonight.... It's certainly exhausting.. and I really hope tomorrow is not just a new day- but a day of better moments! Including sleeping past 3:30AM

not me, my little guy!

Can I have a pity party? Please....

And this is why I always say, mommy can't get sick, because there is no one to take care of me! And I still have to do all the usual for the rest!

Well, mommy has caught the cold... my head, between my ears, and just blahhh....

and to make matters worse today... after a horrible not being able to sleep night

The coffee cups my husband gets me from costco... my nice big 20oz cups... my thing... it's what I do every morning... and no one is going to take it away from me

My own specialty coffee drink made by me for me

in these big cups I like

I opened the new bag of cups... and then realized these are not the right one's.

These are smaller, oh no... on this morning I didn't sleep very good, I don't feel very good- and I don't have my usual and it means I don't have lids to fit.. just so many things going wrong this morning!

I am saying this with a grin on my face, and silliness in my voice..... if you can't tell... I've been trying really hard to get pity and sympathy from my hubby....

I asked him to stop at the local pharmacy to get me cold medicine- can't believe we don't have any on hand....

he said after work,,, I said I can't wait!!

and I gave a sad face... hoping to gain some sympathy and some cold medicine!

We'll see.... he first takes little one to school... and I"m hoping he is able to stop for me! Because my head is going to explode!

Okay, I'm done... thanks for listening..... the world will go on, the day will continue as usual, and mama will do what she must....

isn't that what we do best.... march on despite feeling crappy?

Happy Friday!

Nothing else to say.........

Nothing else to say......... my heart continues to smile!

My little violinist.......

I got out! woo hoo..... My oldest, my violinist, had her very first Jr. High Orchestra Winter Concert!

And let me tell you, this was no ordinary Jr. High Concert!

My Jr. High Orchestra certainly didn't sound half as good as this group of kids!

They were amazing- it was the most beautiful, joyful Concert! So enjoyable to listen to

This group is truly talented... and I"m so proud that my little Meggie was a part of it! So proud of her and how hard she has worked this year- it's hard to believe it's only been 3 months since the start of school.... and WOW....!

It was so wonderful to be out, participating with my Jr. Higher- seeing her smile, her cousins, Aunts and Uncles came to listen... and although she told me she didn't want me to invite anyone..... I know secretly she was so glad they were there.... she is proud to be apart of this amazing Orchestra!

And gosh she looked so grown up in her Concert Attire.... really my little girl is just growing up so fast.... and one of the best parts...

She and I "hanging" out eating sweet treats after the concert just the two of us to celebrate! That was precious!

I'm just so proud of her... things aren't easy in our household, and it's even harder to understand it when you are an emotional, hormonal, twelve year old... when all things are not fair.. but in our case...

Yeah, I know... she doesn't get to ever have both her parents at an event... it's one or the other.... we don't get to do fun exciting things as a family.... sure lots of one on one time which is how we divide and conquer as we say...

but (as I"m always reminded) she never gets to have friends over, never a sleep over...... these are events that are simply just too difficult with our circumstances...... but what she doesn't always realize is it may not be black and white with these types of things.. but we're creative, she's really not that deprived of fun times.... it's just different than what she thinks is "normal".... despite our efforts to explain to her - there is no "normal"... normal is what we make up in our minds.... because all families have their own "normal" and it never ever looks the same from one family to another... and in reality- everyone has struggles... that's just life.. some more than others, some much much worse....

I'll tell you, the one thing I hope my children grow up to realize is compassion is essential to happiness, and happiness comes only from within oneself.... it's not external- no one thing or one person can create or take away one's happiness!

And happiness stems from finding joy in little things, in love, feeling loved, in our special moments, not in expectations... expectations can only ruin one's true happiness..... It's taken me decades to realize that.. and living a world that was completely different then what "we expected" when we began our family... but that's just it.. we had an expectation... we grew up a certain way... that's what we knew...... But it really is a gift to know and feel happy- true happiness!

And I"m not saying our life is easy- one bit... but if I sat and sulked about it all the time, what example am I showing my kids... not a very good one!

I"ve had to transform my way of thinking about things... and I think I have have happy kids because of it! (at least I hope so...)

And kids who are compassionate, loving, and can see the "bigger" picture of life... it does start young!! I'm proud of them... and I"m proud of our family..... like I said, it's not easy- not even close... but "our team" is taking the lead in this crazy race.... but we're in no hurry, and we definitely stop to smell the roses, the lavender, and look at the butterflies along our journey!

ps As I was typing this... my little boy wrote a Christmas Story... how adorable.. it's about a little boy named Ty and he couldn't sleep on Christmas- and he got out of bed and saw Santa Claus... but Santa Claus used his magic Christmas dust and sprinkled it over Ty to help him go back to sleep... ! Wow... love his creativity and imagination... and best of all...

He was writing it - all by himself.... this is my kid! Love him.....

Another point for the good moments!

And then in the next minute

TV was lost due to an "issue" and somebody decided to join me and Sarah while I read a book to her

yep, he sat patiently, engaged, listening, even asking questions.

And when I decided it was the last chapter, and the time came to end the reading session,

some little guy couldn't wait to hear what was going to happen next in the Rainbow Fairies story and asked for one more chapter!

Yes, one more chapter.... wow!!!! That was just awesome!

Another point goes to the "good moments"!

Was that too much to ask........

No behaviorist today due to illness on their side..... Brian has a late night meeting tonight, past bedtime,

Day actually has been really great.... Ty and I have been very interactive together, baking cookies for the neighbors (although he doesn't agree to that)

we played checkers, he let me do a good deep back rub, he helped me wrap a few Christmas gifts..... he really wanted to wrap some himself for Sarah- so sure...

that's very giving of him- and I have to say, he was so proud of himself when he wrapped a gift, put tape on, and a ribbon too!

Talk about gleaming, anyway back to the day, the good times we were having and even ywhen things came up (as we call it sometimes)

he appropriately said he was sorry, took his minutes in the hammock and recovered nicely!

Yeah- score for the good moments!

We decided on pizza tonight since daddy is gone, (yes even a Gluten Free house can have pizza these days... yeah- even delivered: awesome delicious GF pizza and we just leave the cheese off!- we feel so typical!)

Anyway, going well, pizza is delivered, (now this is where mommy obviously got carried away)

I had the brilliant idea to eat dinner in front of the TV in the family room... yeah- so fun, right!!!

Everyone was on board, they all thought this was great, we agreed on the movie- Santa Buddies......

I served everyone up.... got them settled in the family room

then BOOM

this that and other things were happening, people fighting, arguing, yelling... then I realized

how could I have possibly expected them to have been successful at this change.

This was one more change on top of the other changes that occurred today.... what was I thinking!

You see, in our world, change is not good, in fact, multiple changes in the same time period, well, can usually mean catastrophic consequences..... and this last one I added!

Eating in a different room is change one, eating in front of a TV, change 2, daddy not home, change 3, did I mention, not eating at our dining table as we ALWAYS do!

And it was one change too many.... it was a frustrating moment for me.... because in reality (not my reality, but in reality that I think how others live- Was this really too much to ask for?

Heck, it was an opportunity to eat dinner, pizza no less, in front of the TV watching a movie.....

What kid wouldn't want to do that, right?

Well, at my house, we have a different reality, it's called KEEPING THINGS THE SAME!!!

I guess I got caught up in an idea that I thought would be fun..... I really should know better.... something that could be fun, but not if it's DIFFERENT

So to answer my own question,

Yes, it was too much to ask for...... and I'm sorry I had tried to do something out of our usual!

Maybe it would have been successful on a more typical day, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing out of the routine that we are used to (I say we, but really it's a couple munchkins that have this issue... mainly, one 12 year old munchkin, and one 9 1/2 year old munchkin).....

So, note to self, never add another change on a day full of changes!!!!!

Happy mommy here...

And the day continues with puppets and stuffed animal friends that come to life!

Yeah, pretty awesome huh! And even when he did call me stupid, less than a minute later-

he apologized and sat in the hammock for 2 minutes without complaint! Happy mommy here!

My goal, four days.......

While he slept for his morning nap

mom got motivated (somehow) to do a short workout for the first time in about 10 months.....

Long overdue, but I have to say, I had that time to myself!

Which by the way if you can't yet tell by our story...... never happens!

I used to get workouts in.. but there is nothing more frustrating than trying to do a workout, and being constantly interrupted for any number of reason!

That certainly takes the steam out of wanting to work out... it was already a chore, but when you can't even focus on it for more than 2 minutes in a row.... well this mama said forget it!

But with this cold weather, my yard work and outside projects are sort of on hold.. which usually I"m outside while he's asleep- getting to do my work... which has to count as a work out, right?

So I think the winter season has hit, the cold air is everywhere, and it's not so nice to be outside for very long right now.

So, I have told myself I have to figure out somehow to do something physical!

It's not easy.... I prefer being outside... that makes the whole experience so much better... and time go by so much faster!

But I did do it today.....

It may only be one day, but I will try to turn one day into 2 days, and then 2 days into 3 days... and maybe I'll make the goal of 4 days a week to start.

Yes, four days a week- that sounds like a good and realistic goal.

So he slept, I worked out, he woke up, I was done.

Now we'll get on with the rest of our day.... Happy Monday!

This kind of morning

Yep..... that kind of morning

And this is despite somebodies earlier 2:30AM wake up call........

Does it get better than this?

Nope! Not in my bubble world!

Good moments are taking over!

Well, I feel like I've only been reporting on "good" awesome, monumental moments...

which by the way for the first time in well over a year, is finally outweighting the bad moments.... that's a huge turn of events in this household.

For the good moments to out number the bad moments...well, it allows us to breathe, even if just for a few moments at a time.

It means we are "living", enjoying moments, being a family. Does it really matter if we still can't leave the house as a family? I don't think so, this is what Ty can do, so we will meet him where he's at and enjoy it!

It's pretty remarkable, it's something that unless you experience what a crazy, chaotic, full of negative moments and struggles and conflict most of your waking moments ( and really even the sleeping one's too!), well, let's just say, it sucks!

So for us to be able to say and feel we have more smiles and laughter happening than anger and behaviors- well it's simply a wonderful thing.

So with that, I would like to report on another wonderful moment..... The girls and I walked to the market, just simply looking around, just to get out.

okay, I did get a delicious apple cider, but still just simply browsing.

It's so nice to be able to do that, just doing something without it being a DEAL.... well, feels un heard of in our family... so it was just nice.

When we got back, Ty was actually pretty happy to see us (not his usual transition when we come back from somewhere, but much preferred!)

and then he was up to something.

I was instructed to not look, and don't go over by him.

Okay, no problem. My little boy was busy over at the table beading me a necklace. Yep, sitting quietly, patiently, focused on beading me, a necklace.

In fact, he went to the length of putting it inside a box he could find. And then said, "open it".

You should have seen the smile and glee beaming from him. Wow... enough to light up the room! He was so proud of himself and was so happy to give me something he felt was so special!

And he was right... it was so special.... Now how amazing is that, huh??

Man I love moments like that! That is just awesome!

Fascinating sleep story........

Sleep is a funny thing...... my husband just told me something that I find so fascinating!

So when Ty is fast asleep, and Brian has to "clear his throat" you know, that big loud umm hummm noise that so many men make..

well anyway, it happens in our house A LOT.... lots of throat clearers in this household

so Brian was telling me that when he does that in the middle of the night, Ty actually closes his ears with his hands aka puts on his hand helmetand grimmaces his face when he's asleep

Now how does this happen?

I swear the Autism neurological brain is so fascinating and odd at times!

How does he know a noise is being made?

How is he conscious enough to think to cover his ears?

Now I understand when he's awake.. that I get... that we see all the time, that is survival to him.... how the heck does he do it in his sleep?

I guess sleep is a funny thing to the autism brain....

I guess I"ve always known that.... between no sleep, odd sleep, crashing sleep, sleep that can occur at any minute and any where, even on a 2 foot wide bench curled into a ball... .and he doesn't fall off!

How?????

But one thing I've learned is there is no way I can rationalize or completely comprehend, understand, fully make sense of the Autism brain...

I get some things, but others

no way! But acceptance doesn't mean anything except, accepting! That I understand! With my whole heart and spirit!

ten minutes of laughter.....

Wow, what a moment we had at dinner tonight... Ty "found" a joke book that someone in the family was going to be getting for xmas, and that person will remain nameless and the fact that a box was found and raided is totally beside the point....

OMG it was the funniest .. Ty telling knock knock jokes from this book, reading them... Yes reading....... laughing, trying to make us laugh... then Sarah and Megan get in on it.. we are all laughing...

Yes, I said we were ALL laughing... all together...

It was awesome... Gosh the moment was just a moment filled with pure joy and laughter!

Doesn't get better than this.....

Wii rocks!

Wii rock band rocks!

Our behaviorists, L, brought it over for Ty.... it's always a good thing having something "new" and "novel" for him .... as long as you present it in a way that makes it seem like it's no big deal,

and the item will leave with the person who brought it so that it doesn't become "a thing"..... but the more we can have him focus on an activity, an activity that doesn't create too much stir internally, an activity that brings focus and body control movement....

WINNER!

It was so fun watching him play "eye of the tiger".... and he's so impressed that mom knows the words to some of the songs, that one, some GoGo's songs (I think I'm dating myself now.. but love the music!)

I tried it, wasn't very good, in fact I got boo'd off the stage I missed so many notes... Ty thought that was the funnies thing!

Wii Rock Band gets a major thumbs up from this mama!

Sensory heaven

My little guy never ceases to amaze me...... all I have to say is:

2 baths in one day!

For a kid we can hardly get to take a bath every 2 weeks.. .(trust me the fight is much worse than the stink....

but today... 2 !

Now that's just awesome.... awesome for him!

Awesome because a nice warm bath, submerging yourself into the blanket of warm water... well, sensory heaven to some!

And that's a good thing!

My 25 days of Christmas

I like getting fun ideas from Pinterest..... lots of good ideas for the different seasons of the year.

This particular one stuck out in my head and I'm loving it!

It is a countdown of the 25 days till Christmas......... by doing a RAK!

If you don't know what RAK is..... it's Random Act of Kindness! And I love doing things like this...

It started on December first when my husband was off to Starbucks, and I told him to pay for the car behind him...... I've racked 2 neighbors leaves for them, I wrote a note to an old friend who is battling a battle of her own, just to let her know I was thinking of her, and don't get me wrong- kids are involved too!

Megan is bringing her friend a favorite drink to school today, just because..... Sarah drew a picture for a friend, Ty made GF rice crispies treats yesterday and he ultimately did share them with his sisters.

I say ultimately because it wasn't so easy .... but he took time, thought about it on his own terms, like most things, and decided to share. I was proud of him!

I also love to bake things for friends and neighbors throughout this month.... and rather then feeling overwhelmed by doing a huge baking marathon, I thought I will bake a little bit every day- Ty and I enjoy it anyways.... and it spreads it out... so today, someone is going to be getting Pumpkin Spice Cookies!

I guess throughout our crazy world we live in, and by that I mean our particular crazy family situation, the challenges, struggles, the good times and bad..... I have always loved doing things for others.

And I feel dedicated to sharing this with my kids..... the one big thing we have done now for 3 years... is a Children's Hospital Toy drive... we collect new unwrapped gifts for kids of all ages from our community- family, friends and on Christmas Eve we take the toys to the hospital to be delivered to all the kids that can't be home for the Holidays!

My joy is seeing my kids get excited when someone drops off a gift at our house, and they know it's for the toy drive, and they are excited that some boy, or girl, will be receiving it. They say things like "oh my gosh this is so cool, a little girl will love this!"

Statements like that just melt my heart... and when it comes down to it..... I know we are raising good, kind, and generous kids.... some days it maybe be harder, but this type of giving always makes our family smile!

And last year, we collected over 100 new gifts that we delivered to the hospital. It was incredible.... there was so much and my kids loved how many kids we were going to help smile!

We are a family who is touched and affected by medical issues, know what it's like to be in the hospital for an extended time with a child, who regularly need to visit 2-3 x a year..... the peds surgery staff know us by name we are that regular..... so we know what it's like to be there on the other side of our child receiving something special to help take his mind off of where he is at that moment....... and this is our way of giving back to all the other children.... especially during the holidays! We've been there before during the holiday season and were lucky to be home for Christmas.... but there are so many children who have to spend the holidays at the hospital.... so many... and there families by there side.... the gifts we collect are simply to help bring a smile to their faces when they open it and for them even just for a moment to forget that they are in the hospital, maybe have IV's hooked up, maybe experiencing pain... whatever they are there for, maybe for a minute they forgot about it when they received a new gift. That's our wish for all those children!

And my kids get to experience the wonderful feeling of helping others.

That makes us smile!

So, my 25 days of Christmas countdown of Random Acts of Kindness continues.... and if you are reading this, maybe you too want to do a RAK for someone else! It's not hard, in fact, it's quite easy - help someone load their groceries into their car, take the cart away when you see someone done loading their groceries, buy a coffee for the person behind you, send a note to an old friend, help a neighbor with a chore, better yet, have your kids help a neighbor.

There is no one thing to do, there is nothing too big or too little.... when it comes from the heart...... well, that's just amazing!

And don't forget to pass it on.... doing nice things is contagious!!!!!!

It's not looking good.......

oh and one more thing..... Ty has been on the potty now for 1 hour and 40 minutes..

. he is refusing to come off because we have a no video game before bed rule... and he doesn't want to put down the DS... .

wonder how long he'll stay on?

but it is not a good sign that things will go smooth after he gets off

not good at all

unless he of course falls asleep on the potty....yes that happens!

hmmm heads he falls asleep, tails he stays on for another hour!

either way- I'm going to bed!

Can I go to bed without any more "issues" tonight please?

I am blessed, I am blessed.... just keep saying it to myself... I am blessed!

but it was a rough night- I guess to be expected with first day back after a week school break for all!

But ugh ... between a major meltdown with Ty..... why? well Megan said football is stupid

and that sent him into tears and more crying, throwing up a little because he's crying so hard......

then into throwing....

before the throwing I thought this is good- he's sad, and crying over this statement..... and not hitting her over it...

and then the sadness got to anger.... but eventually all calmed down for the moment

until after dinner... then things started up again... and this time he locked himself into my room and went on a throwing destructive spree... ugh

then he calmed down again....

then our little Sarah who also has tummy troubles a lot..

was having terrible cramping.... crying, cramping, crying, needing tummy massage... more tummy massage... for about 45 minutes of tummy massage....

I hate seeing her so miserable- poor thing... she always asks me why this happens to her :( So this has brought the evening to a rapid close, not sure where the night went, still have chores to get done before bed, I'm tired,

okay, this is me whining...... these are not very fun nights........ yep whining again!

But I'm done.. thanks for listening! :)

I am blessed..... but right now, I'm tired and want to go to bed without any more "issues" tonight please!!

Feeling blessed.......

Just feeling blessed today... that's all!

Even if the day ends up going south....... I'm still very blessed in so many ways!

Hello December........ where did 2013 go???

Hello December first, I can't believe you've arrived already.

Why is it that life continues to pass by at the speed of lightening?

Another year gone by, another year still trying to figure out this thing we call, LIFE

Is it just me or is time just flying here?

But life most things, I will embrace, I will accept, I will continue to move forward and bring on the Holidays.

Let the whirl-wind begin......

and please please help our son get through this incredibly stressful, over whelming, difficult period of time.... and please give us strength to enjoy our good days, get through our bad days, and help our family enjoy this special season!

Let's do this...... tomorrow girls are back in school, Brian has some meetings this week, let's get focused and our mojo ready to get through these few challenges this week!

As he's right now getting mad and upset because big sister isn't going back for him to watch a commercial he wants to watch AGAIN...... yes, these are the days of our lives!! :) Hello December, please be kind! Thank you!