Not that he's been in that great of a mood himself. Clearly he has some increased anxiety happening. He's definitely struggling to engage. But needs attention. Not an easy combination. And it's driving me crazy!!!
We had a tiny little, pretty much not really anything, outing today. He asked about doing school work for french fries. I thought I would use this situation to my advantage the best I can and in stead of doing school work (since I have nothing prepped right now) he could get french fries while we got Starbucks which is next door. But that is technically a second stop. That's 2 difference places, 2 different events, 2 different everything which is a big deal.
He agreed. And it was the most frustrating afternoon once we established this was going to occur. His anxiety went even higher, he was short with his patience, he definitely had cross words (clearly expressing anxiety). It was really hard to watch, and it really gave me the indication that we shouldn't do this outing. It's increased his anxiety and we haven't even left the house. But once committed to the plan- there is no going back unless I"m totally prepared to deal with something that I really was not totally prepared to deal with. Not that that stops me, but many times once we are out of the house- done with all the pre car anxiety, and actually driving- (he either plays with DS or listens to his own music on his MP3 player) and things calm down.
But my goodness, it shouldn't be so damn stressful just to go get french fries and starbucks. It shouldn't be so damn stressful to just walk out the front door and simply get in the car. UGH...
See this is how I know I"m in a grumpy mood. Because of course I know it's very hard. Of course I recognize the challenge that this simple act does to him. Of course I realize I am doing exactly what causes his anxiety to be worse. And it is the first time really in quite sometime this summer that we have been out in the car (especially because little sister came with us).
When we were picking up little sister from school everyday and going to Guitar lessons once a week- it had dramatically improved. Simple, short, routine established (which this is very very critical in this game of life with Autism), and with the proper supports, the routine much more established, expected, and predictable- he did great this past school year.
So I know I need to be way more patient with him. I know it was a hugely big deal that we did this. I know it was hard for him. And I know my grumpiness only makes things worse for him. But my goodness, some days I don't want it to be a circus act of chaos just to go out of the house. Our everyday is already so hard and this makes things even harder! It's just never easy or simple- and today I wanted it to be just a teeny tiny bit simpler! Just once! Is that too much to ask????? lol I guess it is! :)
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