know what's hard????

Want to know what's hard?

Seeing your little boy break down crying over the last two bites of coleslaw

even though he had the last real serving

so little sister who was "done" with hers but didn't finish decided out of the goodness of her heart to give the last few bites to Megan

why?

well, because Ty rushed so quickly to grab the last of it and didn't let anyone else have seconds of coleslaw

which was fine, except for the fact that he

was kind of rude about it

and then would Sarah offered her last few bites

he lost it!

He broke down.. he couldn't handle the emotion he was feeling

he threw some things off the table (luckily nothing major, could have been much worse)

and wept!

Then would get angry and try to fight

then wept some more!

This is how even a good day can so quickly end up in our household!

over coleslaw

It's really hard to see him get so so so upset, over coleslaw

which I know in my mind, was really not about coleslaw

what was it really over?

Not sure, I have theories

but you see, in our world here

I"m kind of celebrating too

he wanted to be mad as hell

and he kind of was, and then would allow himself to cry

as much as I hate seeing him cry so hard because he's so incredibly sad

it's an emotion we haven't seen in more than a few weeks!

and to turn his "mind" around after this "emotional turmoil" he experienced

well, it's tiring, it's exhausting, and it takes everything we have as parents!

I'm glad we ultimately were giggling over the dogs

but Autism does control our family most of the time

and all we can really do is try to "tame" it in the moment

that's what is hard.... hard for my son most importantly

So so hard for him

and most of the time, we can't do anything but be patient with him.

It's hard to see him suffer, it's hard to see him so out of control of his own body, it's hard to see him trying his hardest to "control" his world

but losing the battle in that moment!

That's what is hard..... but I / we will never stop trying

we will never not try to help him

we will never not keep him safe.... period! Just sucks when it's over coleslaw! That means he tried so so hard!

and for that, I'm proud of him!