A lot of good stuff!

There have been so many good things this week, where to begin.

And in those same 24 hour periods, some how we've also endured some very difficult times!

For example yesterday, woke up with a stressed little boy whom I love beyond words

hitting me (it's 6:50AM... what could possibly upset him this much already???)

So not a good start to the day, by any means.

And then the day continued on, and well, was a pretty awesome day. In fact, he simply said at 8:00am "I"m bored" which is his catch phrase for all things... and he simply can't stop his mind from circling around and around enough to just exist

and so I reminded him about earning money (a system we set up a few weeks ago)... and he can go rake the front yard for 75 cents.

A value he and I agreed on

And this is the part that still floors my mind

(because you know I"ve never ever asked him to rake the leaves or give any suggestion of what he could do when he claims he's bored, nope never!!!)

And yes I"m being very sarcastic, because this is the world we live in where what we do and say which is always the same works wonderfully, we are the best parents in the entire world one moment, one day, and the very next moment or day

well, it's bad and unpredictable and well, nothing we say, don't say, do, don't do is right!

This is Autism!

Anyway, so he happily goes out and begins raking the leaves.... WHAT!!!!

Are we really seeing what we are seeing... and yes we watched him through the window.. because well, these are the things that fascinate us... and make us so proud.. and we don't want to miss it!

He rakes the leaves, into a pile, then he throws the rake, and then proceeds to get the leave picker uppers.. you know the leaf scoops!!

Then he uses them to put the leaves in the street gutter for yard waste pick up

then

he throws the leaf scoops on the ground and goes and gets the push broom!

Yeah, he's doing all of this on his own!!!

And then sweeps the leaves in the street into the pile, and then even goes and sweeps neighbors areas into nice piles

He created 8 piles... going to neighbors houses on both sides of us and down a few houses

(I am usually the leaf sweeper... and yes I commonly will sweep neighbors side walks, walks ways, and clear gutter of leaves and put into piles.. it's just something I have always done to be one. neighborly, two I"m already sweeping so, yeah.. and three it's good exercise, right!

And he did this too!

He raked, swept, and worked so hard out there!

How amazing!

And not only did I pay him his 75 cents, but he got a 25 cent tip!

Definitely so proud of him..... and he continued for the most part to have a good day, we all had a pretty good day!

Until bedtime..... and then he started to hit again!

ugh

He was becoming a bit obsessed with watching a show, and watching it for a good part of the day "Boy Meets world"

My friend had dropped off some new videos her kids had outgrown and Ty was very excited

But like many things, it's his entire focus!

Could be worse, yes!

But this is where the problem came in... it's 10:30pm and we did stay up a bit late to watch a Movie as a family- it was nice

But then he say's he's not tired and is going to watch a video in bed!

oh no!!!!

We have worked so hard to get him off videos in bed, and only allow books.... he will get into the habit of literally not going to bed until 1 or 2am when watching a video, where as reading a book with daddy (that is daddy reading to him), well, it's a good thing on many levels!

But it has taken a long time to get this expectation established with him

and tonight he runs into my room yelling Daddy won't let me watch a video, and proceeds to hit me!

really, here we are again just like the morning time- ugh

And it's been such a good calm day

It's amazing how quickly his mood can switch, and his obsession to watch this video at bedtime is absolutely ruling his being!

Well, eventually all ended, and luckily this morning, it's the first morning in 4 days he hasn't come running into my room, upset over something in his mind that is important, and hitting me

yeah....... this is why we don't miss the moments... because if we didn't pay attention and appreciate the moments, we would probably only remember being hit in the morning and being hit at bedtime!

But there was a whole lotta good stuff happening bet ween those 14 hours... a lot of good stuff!

sunset, fire pit, wine

A hard start to our day...

but ending with a beautiful sunset beaming through our amazing fall color trees.....

a fire pit and wine...

kids playing basketball in the street, and even some laughter!

another night walk

And another WOW moment

Ty wanted to go for another "night" walk with me and Gretchen, and we even ventured beyond our typical "comfort zone around the block" walk... we walked more than a few blocks, and he even was happily jogging, running way ahead of me!

Just WOW!

And then something else happened tonight

the sweetest quote coming from my little boy

when Brian asked if he was "ready" for something..... Ty simply answered him

"No, Sarah and I are playing!"

And they were playing, playing so well, playing for more than 5 minutes in fact

Don't wake me please!!!!!

voice of Autism

I just love this...... and it is so true!

A fantastic night walk....

With all the ups and all the downs..... a moment like tonight.... Ty wanting to go on a night walk with me and Gretchen.(as I do every night)..

not only is this HUGE because he never wants to, but he is deathly afraid of the dark -

and it rained today, so even this afternoon when he briefly went outside and yelled "worms are everywhere"....

. this is a huge huge phobia of his, always has been... AND we went for our walk.... at night, it was fantastic!!!

Another great one

And then he invited sister

At a usually really tough time of day. A transition. This is what happened instead of the usual fight and outward behaviors

Trains

First Monday that hasn't been , well a little hellish, and we played trains,  creating a world with passengers, farms, animals, police station, fire station, and lots of great engineering , and engagement, and sharing of ideas, and conversation, and a good way to start the week for sure.  And today is definitely not hellish!   Well the first part anyway:). But definitely a good way to start

from yesterday.... a huge huge first for him

A horse was at a neighbors house yesterday, and he so graciously allowed us to pet him, then lifted my Ty up on him

and led him around the backyard

Not only has Ty never been that close to a horse, never been on a horse, never been on a horse while it was moving

but I can remember to the exact moment the first time in his life

he stood in the same view as a horse, which was on the other side of a big fence, and Ty stood in front of the fence with the horse behind the fence, and about 500 feet away

and he was so proud of himself.... he was 6 1/2 years old.. when he did that!

so, yeah, a huge huge first for him on many many different levels!!!

And I couldn't be prouder!

know what's hard????

Want to know what's hard?

Seeing your little boy break down crying over the last two bites of coleslaw

even though he had the last real serving

so little sister who was "done" with hers but didn't finish decided out of the goodness of her heart to give the last few bites to Megan

why?

well, because Ty rushed so quickly to grab the last of it and didn't let anyone else have seconds of coleslaw

which was fine, except for the fact that he

was kind of rude about it

and then would Sarah offered her last few bites

he lost it!

He broke down.. he couldn't handle the emotion he was feeling

he threw some things off the table (luckily nothing major, could have been much worse)

and wept!

Then would get angry and try to fight

then wept some more!

This is how even a good day can so quickly end up in our household!

over coleslaw

It's really hard to see him get so so so upset, over coleslaw

which I know in my mind, was really not about coleslaw

what was it really over?

Not sure, I have theories

but you see, in our world here

I"m kind of celebrating too

he wanted to be mad as hell

and he kind of was, and then would allow himself to cry

as much as I hate seeing him cry so hard because he's so incredibly sad

it's an emotion we haven't seen in more than a few weeks!

and to turn his "mind" around after this "emotional turmoil" he experienced

well, it's tiring, it's exhausting, and it takes everything we have as parents!

I'm glad we ultimately were giggling over the dogs

but Autism does control our family most of the time

and all we can really do is try to "tame" it in the moment

that's what is hard.... hard for my son most importantly

So so hard for him

and most of the time, we can't do anything but be patient with him.

It's hard to see him suffer, it's hard to see him so out of control of his own body, it's hard to see him trying his hardest to "control" his world

but losing the battle in that moment!

That's what is hard..... but I / we will never stop trying

we will never not try to help him

we will never not keep him safe.... period! Just sucks when it's over coleslaw! That means he tried so so hard!

and for that, I'm proud of him!

Time change transition, it's been hard!

My day in a nutshell: lots of object flying

then calmness

playing baseball, playing basketball

more objects flying

ugh.... up and down is tiring!

And a lot came out with his rage..... ultimately he's mad at the time change because now it's dark when daddy comes home!

Yep, he thinks we have the power to " fix that"

Oh and it's a full moon, oh and did you know the spaghetti sauce I made last night had too many tomatoes in it

and that was cause for an eruption last night

and then when he found out we were having leftovers

well, yeah you can probably guess!

Funny part is he rarely eats what we are having, he's so picky

so last night he ended up eating a bagel for dinner

and check this out- he had a sandwich tonight for dinner AND

he had some spaghetti

Brian simply picked out some "tomatoes"

but either way, it's just that kind of 24hours!

Hope the next 24 are a bit brighter!

I have to admit, today was tiring.. I just couldn't keep up with his emotions

and I was reading him all wrong!

That's I"m sure not just frustrating for me, but I"m sure for him too!

Hope this "time change" transition, ends sooner rather than later!

It's hard when we mess with the time!

How to explain the time change

I am in such denial that it is now November!

And it's been so funny, hard, exhausting trying to explain to my littlest that yes even though our clock currently says 8:00, (I had not changed them yet and well, yeah...) it's really 7:00am ...... but why? they would both ask

and we would do our best to explain day light savings and how it's ending

but why

you mean yesterday at this time it was really 8:00am but today it's now 7:00?

Yes, that's how it works

but why?

and then oldest chimming in with her "opinion" and how lame it is and the government shouldn't mess with the clocks.....

and then that starts a whole round of questions and once again the question of why!

It's pretty comical, and yet wow their persistence is now well, getting annoying

hahah I just have no other way to explain it for them to understand, it just is what it is!

And what is so funny is for myself, especially as a kid, man I just accepted it... and moved on, never thought another thing about it

but I have to say, my kids question everything, are curious about everything, want to make sense of everything, want to understand everything

I guess that's not so bad..... more of fatiguing at times

especially when I know I will never have the answer to fully satisfy their little minds

which of course means only one thing

GOOGLE it!

So the next time they bring it up (as I've set it aside for right this minute) it will be time for a history lesson on Day lights savings time.

and of course with my one little guy, I"m just really hoping that this gaining of an hour doesn't totally screw up his "system" as the change in time is playing with our natural circadian rhythms which until better adjusted causes dysregulation, and in a kid that is already so dyregulated... how can he possibly "regulate" when this change in time occurs.... We really see his regulation and abilities to regulate change with seasons- so many "external" inputs that are always changing... and it literally messes him up for at least a few weeks until he "more or less gets used to it".....

when he was little, he would never wear a jacket the first month or so it began turning cold

I had the kid that people would say "shouldn't he be wearing a jacket?"

how annoying that was, as if I didn't put a jacket on him, or at least attempt to, or offer it.. and it always was rejected and thrown back at me

But trust me, as the season continued, by the time it got "that cold" he was willing to put a jacket ont

I learned, who am I to say he is cold? Just because I am, clearly his body processes everything so different

but we saw this repeatedly through his younger years... and then also he would take a while to "take the jacket off" even as season warmed up..... he was used to wearing the jacket, and that's what he did, even on hot days

and again ultimately he would eventually take it off, and again the comments from "public" of "isn't he going to over heat?"

why, just because he's wearing a winter jacket and it's 85 degrees? I guess he won't-

he'll take it off when he's good and ready!

but like all things- things happen on "his time" "his way" "his idea" "his decision"

Because that's just how things are......... so here we go again, into a "new external change" change of time, with the upcoming changing of the seasons

changing of weather, changing of how much daylight we experience

which means how long he can play outside doing what he loves- basketball

before we tell him it's not safe to be in the street playing when it's dark- our rule is "when street lights turn on"

boy that's going to happen pretty early today! Better be ready ;)

Halloween!!!!!!!

Another Halloween has come and gone!

wow!

But one thing is certain- my kids love Halloween!

and as far as behaviors go..... one of 2 things is happening- either the higher dose of the new med is doing it's thing

and /or he was so super motivated and was in such a happy mood yesterday!

Now I'm thinking there's a combination of things going on, because reality- he just isn't in that kind of control over "his mood" or his" reaction and body"

I wish... but until neurology is in a better place, all the brain chemistry a little less "off"

well, how could he?

But it was a really great day! Despite the pouring down rain here in California during the middle of the day

and the outlook of trick or treating was not looking good, so Ty and I made a pinata so that we can still have a very fun halloween party of our own!

But the weather cooperated- rain stopped before evening time, so Brian and Ty and 2 dogs went around the block (as we started off all of us, but after Sarah took a huge face plant spill - can you say OUCH) Ty was becoming more agitated because well, that's just what happens when he has "a plan" and things are not "going according to his plan"

So ultimately we split up.... best thing we could do (Ty didn't want to start this way originally, because all along I knew this would be the best for him)

But that's how things are sometimes!

So trick or treating finally ended, Ty was quite the halloween host answering the door, complimenting costumes, and dishing out candy to all the other kids!

Yeah, I know.... woo hoo!!!

Then the evening festivities began!

candy sorting, candy trading.... and then PINATA!!!

Didn't think it was possible for the evening to get better then successful trick or treating!

But it did!

Megan, now that she is older was off with friends, so it was just Sarah and Ty

And quite honestly, the 2%Ty that we hardly ever see (because all things are just too tough all the time, but obviously stars were in complete alignment for him yesterday allowing him to

be present, be happy, be caring, be

well, himself that hides most of the time!

It was beautiful!

And I just love the candy trading negotiating that occurred.. especially because Sarah, was not going to be taken advantage of this year!

That girl had some tough negotiation skills, and under other circumstances that would have infuriated Ty

But instead, he played more fair!

YAY!

So proud of those two, and after Megan came home, it was late, 10:00pm

the candy trading negotiating continued with all 3 of them!

WOW!

And then

they decided to play 21 using candy as the currency!

REALLY!!!

I know, things just got better and better- and well, Brian and I would just smile- it was great to see!

It was a good day for my kids!

And as I know to never look past a moment

we celebrated, we glowed with joy

and well, let the moment happen, with always the thought

in our world

this is usually just a moment, a few moments rolling into the other

But moments end, the day ends, and with a new sunrise

we just never know what it will bring!

October 1 starts his obsession with Halloween!

All things Halloween!

Now it's November 1

what will come up next ( I am pretty sure I know, but I"m trying really hard to hold off - because Christmas is so big and honestly, I just can't believe we are almost there already!

So, November 1 will just be November 1, the day after a good day!