It is out of refusal to do what "she wants to do".. which of course is one of the goals- do something that someone else wants to do for 1 to 3 minutes... and then transition to the activity of his choice.
Most days, it's fine, no big deal- but it's certainly been a rocky road back after his hospitalization, Brian's surgery and starting back into our routine.
This is not a new goal.. it's a goal that has been in place since he started services 2 years ago... but still not mastered by any means.
In reality, it comes back to how regulated is he? What challenges can he tolerate? How will he tolerate requests... will he be aggressive?
Will he use verbal insult towards the person?
Will he escape and hide?
or will he comply?
On any given day, any one of these can happen - that is one thing that is consistent with him, he's not consistent!
But it gets back to how regulated is he? What's been going on around him? Is he showing flexibility, calmness, ability to cope?
And as we had a great weekend, Tuesday was certainly an indicator that he wasn't well regulated... and he's had moments of aggressive behavior, but luckily didn't escalate and took his calm down time in the hammock.
Now today, again different, I've been punched in the arm, and when I tried to talk to him about dinner tonight- he threw a remote control at me- and it hit me right in the wrong spot on my ankle... yeah it hurt!!!!! So, regulated, most definitely not!
Does it look good for the rest of the night?
Not particularly.... and it's this up and down up and down cycles of moods, behavior that honestly
gets me exhausted!
Behavior is a form of communication- we know he lacks in expressive language skills, he is very much like a 3-4 year old (sometimes worse)... so in my mind I'm thinking he is telling us to back off, he can't tolerate whatever challenges he is experiencing (unfortunately we don't always know what's challenging him because he is not able to tell us- and he thinks we know).... but this is the time of night that is a challenge
Food, smells, family gathering together, noises from cooking, talking, after meal is potty time, teeth brushing time, ... these are all things that we know challenge him, and sometimes he gets through it like it's no big deal, and other days, well its a day like today!
So, I'm hoping he doesn't want to eat dinner at the table, I"m hoping he just slips into the kitchen and makes himself a sandwich (as he does anyway), goes back into the family room to eat- calms himself, stays a little bit away to prepare himself for the rest of the evening events that have to take place!
But for some reason, I highly doubt it!
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