priceless

OMG OMG OMG.... that was the best dinner meal time we have had as a family in months, years... who knows!

Full of laughter, sharing, giggles, silliness, sharing,

did I say sharing?

Wow and wow!

Truly amazing dinner moments, and that is just something we don't ever experience as a family!

That may be sad..... but that moment to us is absolutely treasured, priceless

and a shared smile between Brian and I!

That was just awesome!

4 days and Zoob's

Day four of leaving our house, getting into the car, and picking up little sister!

HUGE!!!!

But one day at a time, believe me- only one day at a time!

But even with 4 days in a row of leaving our house-

look what he made today....... if you don't know Zoob's... they are awesome!

Especially for kids who like to build, create, it's similar to lego's, kind of

but not really but you can see they are able to build so many things!

This is his alien!

they are awesome for focus, fine motor skills, creativity, and so so so many endless hours of endless creations! While we were camping he made a T-Rex skeleton- huge one!! So awesome!

This was a good time for Ty!

And right now, he's going to jump into the pool- woo hoo!!!! Friday night- bring it on!

Now, just need to decide what we'll do for dinner ???

TGIF

I don't really want to "re-hash" yesterdays events

it was more challenging for sure

but in the end, he went swimming (thank goodness)

and went to bed until 7:00am

Why is it the beginning of the school year is so busy, packed with back to school nights, meetings for extra curricular activities

and everything always falls in the same week- 3 nights this week were taken up by "evening meetings for me"

that's not exactly the easiest thing for my family to handle

But as they say TGIF.... and we made it to Friday

and since Ty took my money from my wallet yesterday and eloped- I know he won't be doing it today, because I have no money now for him to take in the middle of his obsessive meltdown

That's also how I know it's been a more challenging week..... it all came back to "buy me" "I want" blah blah blah

it's just where his brain goes when he feel more dysregulated and out of control-

but unfortunately he took money, hopped on his bike (thankfully he puts his helmet on) and went to the local store around the corner

I knew he was headed there, and I've now learned, if I chase him

it's going to put him more into fight or flight and cause him to become more dangerous and possibly get hurt

I know his anxiety is too great for him to go beyond the local store he knows very well

so that's in a weird way comforting

and I wait it out, here he comes, purchased a basketball and a baseball

throws them on the ground as if - he's relieved, he got that urge to buy out- and it didn't really matter what it was he purchased

and I ignore, I do not pay any attention to it, he tries and tries to get me to acknowledge what he's done

almost now seeking permission

but I do not give him that or any acknowledgment

I just pretend it didn't happen

and the entire scenario is over

we pick up little sister without too much incident (btw this is now day 4 of picking up Sarah this week.... it's something to celebrate but it's also partially responsible for the behaviors we are experiencing

I hope this weekend brings extra extra calmness and kind of re-sets his challenge monitor

otherwise I will have to start re thinking the plan of picking her up every day

I can't have him running off obviously

the behaviors we experience are indicative of his state of mind and his state of regulation and the challenges he experiences

and even something so simple as picking up little sister, day after day, may at this point just be too much

I encourage you to look back to posts one year ago- at the start of that school year

yikes it got bad... not at first, at first it seems like we are sailing

and then BOOM

Holy crap the world just exploded in our face! and boy did it get bad :(

So I am weary, don't know what it will bring weeks down the line, but today

as I said earlier TGIF TGIF TGIF!!

and I hope we can just have a calm, boring, lazy, no drama to speak of kind of friday! Cheers to that!

so many things today.....

Busiest day this mom has had in literally years

And with more transitions out of the house than we've done in I don't know how long

I got a kickboxing workout in (well first one in six months, but I"m hopeful that it will continue)

Played baseball with my boy

Picked up littlest from second grade with Ty and Gretchen

This is where the day started to get a little iffy

things are starting to slide, demands are being negotiated (at least from him)

luckily after trying his hardest to negotiate for I have no idea what- it wasn't making any sense at this point of our "transition"

I simply got in the car with Gretchen, (and prayed really hard he'll just come out to the car without any issues)

And ultimately he did- just took some time- but waiting it out- worked at this moment

picked up Sarah- and this is where things kind of went south

Again, he was trying to negotiate for I have no idea what

what completely unhappy with the lack of response I was giving him and clearly not giving him the answer he was hoping for

but we all know at this point in our crazy life game that it's not about "anything" it's just him, trying to gain control when he's feeling out of control

so I could have said Yes to whatever the heck he was asking for,

but trust me, wouldn't have mattered, wouldn't have changed the outcome, wouldn't have done anything different- because that's not what it was about

Anyway- a bit of uneasy times in the car, had to pull over because he did begin to hit

but ultimately we got home (remember it's only a 1/4 mile, but some days that 1/4 mile feels like 100 miles)

And this is again a dicy situation when we get home- he jumps out of the car and runs to the house- and says he's locking us out

obviously not thinking clearly at all since I have house keys because I was driving the car

but these are those moments you just "wait out" the best you can

and even though it was hot- ugh I made a move when I thought things were calmer- oops

jumped in a little too soon- he wasn't ready to "be calmer"

but at some point- door opened (BTW although I had keys, he was holding with all his might the deadbolt so that I was not able to turn the darn key- damn he's persistent

So, little by little he calmed down- and although it was early out day for littlest, she had ballet today (yeah talk about trying to have my girls exist outside our home in this crazy life of ours- ) so this means we have to leave our house again and take her to ballet!

and at the rate we were going after school pick up- things are not looking very likely

crap

But guess what, yep, he falls asleep- probably the best outcome after that "situation" at pick up

and no way am I going to wake him up to take Sarah to dance- luckily I have the greatest friend in the entire world

and she so lovingly picked up Sarah and brought her to ballet and even stayed and watched for a bit-

yeah, did I mention she is the definition of what a real best friend is- took me 30 some odd years to find one, but wow- she is tops- always willing to help me and my family out- and never asking for anything in return... although I try to do what I can- but I think by now you can see I have very little to offer "others" and well, most people just disappear

I"m not the easiest friend to have- our circumstances make well, everything pretty stinky all the time- for anything outside of this family- and although I try- I really really try- it's not exactly a very reciprocal friendship-

that's how you know, she is the most amazing true friend

and one day I hope I can make up for all she has done for me

anyway- she brought Sarah to ballet- and Ty eventually woke up... kind of confused, kind of demanding, and realizing wait that didn't work out so well

and although there was some behaviors- he did his"time"

in the hammock- that's awesome

and I knew I still had to get Sarah, and I knew I am pushing this kid beyond how he's been pushed in a long time (for at least coming and going out of the house)

so yeah, naturally I know what will "bribe" "motivate" what ever you want to call it-

it's a very critical thing to maintain with kids with Autism- and luckily right now he is motivated by french fries

okay, we leave early enough to stop and get jack n' the box french fries (only drive thru)

and we go get Sarah- he waits in the car- which actually is great-

we come home- and it's just that- we come home

no issues, no behaviors, no challenges transitioning back home

Yeah, pretty awesome!

Oh and to go back a bit

he was my little electrical engineer today- working on snap circuits to create alarms, bells, fan, flying saucer, a few other cool things that he followed the directions on how to build the circuit to create the outcome

now how cool is that!

And people are always asking "what school does he get?

yeah, electrical circuits, Egyptian pyramids, 49ers history and cooking

shall I go on?

He lives education, he lives to learn

we provide a calmer, less stimulating loving, caring, and very sensory oriented environment so that he CAN learn

so that he CAN be himself

so that he CAN be happy!

and today, he was an electrical engineer

wonder what he'll be tomorrow?

and this is why we do what we do for him

check out these photos- he was so engaged

and it continued randomly throughout the day, and he couldn't wait to share it with daddy!

That's a pure joy moment!

so I had started out talking about all the things that seemed to make this day challenging, but yet, somewhat "normal" for me, productive, a day like we don't typically have EVER

and after the pick up from ballet, daddy home, I was ABLE to make dinner for the second, third (I've lost count because it's more than one)

and a meal that everyone ate- last night- gluten free dairy free chicken alfredo (wow it was good)

and tonight- in a pinch and little time I made chicken and dumplings (and of course gluten and dairy free)

and then I was out of the house again- seriously, out in the world for a 3rd time in one day!

Had to pick up oldest after theatre practice

so, how amazing is that!

To me, pretty amazing, and it's weird, because for me it's so so so unusual and unheard of for me to leave the house 3 times in one day (2 with Ty)

and yet, to everyone else in the world, coming and going, leaving and arriving, being somewhere else is the norm, their existence, a part of life

But not in this family!

And I don't know what tomorrow will bring

I will do my very best to help him remain calm, remain in control of his own body

to allow him to feel a sense of control that I know he will desire from all that has challenged him today

But what a day for him and us!

What a day.....

and that brings a smile to my face as I write this, thinking about him, and how hard everything is to him all the time every waking moment of his day

and look what he has done both yesterday and today!

That's pretty amazing, don't you think!

What... is this really happening??

And the day just continued to get better

I'm afraid someone will pinch me and I'll wake up

But these highlights are filling me with pure joy and honestly - a lot of energy!

I was ABLE...

yes able to make dinner tonight prior to a meeting I had for my oldest theatre parent meeting- and even got out for a walk with Gretchen

I don't know the last time I was "out in the world" so much in one day

now I"m just praying I don't "pay" for it tomorrow....

Because that too is a reality- but I won't go there

I am just going to enjoy this feeling of a good day!

It feels nice!

HIGHLIGHTS!!

Today's Highlights:

had an "informal" school meeting regarding my little dude who yes hasn't attended school in 2 1/2 years, and yes has been marked absent every day he's missed for 2 1/2 years.... that's so far how our district has "handled" our situation.....

but it also gave us some "breathing" room to just attend to his very intense needs since that day we took him out

. Heard for the very first time -this is beyond this schools campus and capabilities

ya think???

What a difference a new person in the mix, in this case new principal, can make

and scary of how much power one person can hold over a situation despite the facts

Sorry, I digressed- anyway- yes this is indeed a situation that is by far above what the school campus is able to provide assistance with!!!

He recognized that the classroom environment isn't the "proper" placement for him!

Yes, keep going....

so actually that's where it ends, I did say it was an "informal" meeting- catch up, what's going on, next steps, etc

So, good, glad we are all at least on the same page (for the very first time in YEARS on this)

Okay, next highlight- Took Ty to get some new sneakers... and yes I was scared out of my mind....

We had 30 minutes to go in, try on, get them and go get little sister

and yes it was successful!

Yippee.... then we got Sarah from school, and more importantly got into the car, drive 1/4 mile back home and got into the house

WITH OUT INCIDENT!!!

Yippee again!

And then he went and laid down next to the TV, and is watching a movie "Little Giants" I had recorded

Ya hoo

and then another highlight- Sarah came racing out of her classroom with big eyes, big smile

"I have my first homework!!"

She is so excited to have been assigned her first home work assignment- you have just gotta love the sweet innocence, joy in simple things, and clearly her excitement because only big kids get homework- and now she has gotten homework...

That's pretty precious and who knows how long that excitement will last- but for today-

It's pretty damn awesome! All around-

and although this day isn't over, I have to say, it's one of the very first days in

literally YEARS

I almost feel......

normal!

And by that I mean simply, apart of a world outside my own home!

Pretty strange feeling-

don't care if it ends here, it's just nice to see it happen even just once

because in my mind, it does mean

PROGRESS and we are doing the right thing for him

Some good highlights!

Reading

Woke up this morning, after sort of sleeping in!

House was still quiet, what is going on was my first thought!

I heard Gretchen "kind of moaning" so I check in on Ty's room (ever so carefully as heaven forbid if he's still asleep and I wake him up= well so not good!)

I just ever so slightly push the door open just a tiny bit so that Gretchen could come out- and there he is!

Ty was laying down on his bed, on his tummy, chest propped up by his elbows

READING A BOOK!!!!

Yeah, a wow moment and quite honestly

the first time EVER!!!

He hadn't come out of his room yet, he hadn't done "his routine of watching some TV and getting something to eat immediately

his routine, his rituals drive him

but not this morning, there he was ever so quietly reading a book-

and then another great part- when he did come out maybe 8 minutes later, he told me "I was reading"

and then continued to tell me all about the top 10 baseball movies (according to the Best of all things Baseball book he was reading)

and then even asked ME if I had heard of any of them and then proceeded to tell me 1 through 10 and details of each!

WoW!

That was for sure a highlight moment!